Everything is so confusing and tiring, makes me feel sick.
I don't know what I'm doing now,
I feel so drained yet energetic 24/7.
Everything is blurry all the time,
People keep asking me what's wrong
Yet I can never answer how I want to.
"Hey, you okay?"
Yeah, I'm fine.
"Dude, talk to me..."
I wish I could.
"You look mad, is it cause of me?"
No, it's not... You're okay, it's fine...
I can't.
"You say that too much."
That's because it's true,
I can't fucking do anything.
I wish I could just
Vanish.
I wish everything could just leave me alone to rot,
I don't want to exist anymore.
"But people care about you!"
I wish they didn't.
Hell, I constantly beg and beg for attention and care, why want to be friends with that??
I don't understand people.
I don't understand anything anymore.
I wish I did, I wish a lot of things.
I want to understand the world,
and myself for that matter.
But nothing makes sense,
Nothing I do, or say, or like...
Nothing makes sense.
I'm always confused,
Or upset,
Or masking my emotions.
It's frustrating,
I can't be awake without masking.
It's tiring,
So fucking exhausting.
I wake up everyday and feel like I've been awake for hours,
Yet I've been sleeping for over ten hours.
I go to school and have my friends talk to me,
I look so happy with that supid mask on.
I always make a joke out of my emotions,
He looked at me concerned last time.
"Are you okay?"
Yeah I wanna cry lol.
He looked like he wanted to help in some way,
But he knows.
Shit, I really wanted to just run up to him and hug him,
I wanted to just stand there and cry on him.
Haha I didn't even want to do that with my S.O. in a serious relationship.
I wanted to just hug someone, anyone,
I wanted to cry on them and let go of this stupid mask.
Why can't I let go of the dumb fucking mask??
It's like it's glued onto my face and emotions...
I want to rip it off,
Let people see me.
So many words, yet such a little amount of time.
I'm posting this cause I don't exactly feel like this anymore, but I'm glad I got it off my chest a while ago.
Cya next time.
YOU ARE READING
Emotions
RandomMy best friend inspired me to write down my feelings and emotions, so I did lol. This can be venting or just writing down anything I think of a lot. Might not post some of these, I mostly keep them as drafts until I'm comfy posting them :] Fyi, I p...
