Emotions

Hes so... ♡

Hes so cool.
I don't want to mess this up.

He likes me back,
Honestly
I wasn't expecting it

I was so surprised
And conflicted
But happy
Not mad or upset.

I'm just conflicted about
Well
Messing things up

I don't want to ever make him uncomfortable
Or make him feel pressured

I don't want to repeat what my last partner did to me.
I never want to put him through that.

Apparently I'm his first
Thats a lot to say.

Never seen himself blush before
Thats adorable, by the way.

He knows I know,
I know he knows.

We talk about it
Mostly me asking things.

Hes so understanding
And kind
And sweet
And smart

He even said "ly" on the first day...
That killed me
Honest to God
/pos.

Ive never woken up squealing before.

Actually
he spoke on call after falling asleep
and I just kind of
woke up to his voice

He makes me feel so safe
I'm sad he met me when I was head over heels for the other guy.
Didn't take long for my heart to realize the situation.

I had already given up on the other guy
But I don't think he knew that.
Maybe he thought I was still pining after the other guy.

Meh

He looked so happy when talking to me
All the blushing, smiling,

Ugh, his smile is so sweet...
He looks so comforting.

He makes the worst and best innuendos,
Yet sets boundaries and makes sure that I understand.

I'm so happy hes so understanding
I don't think I couldve even said anything if he wasn't.

Lol, it all started out with me asking about his pupils dilating while looking at me.
Isnt that weird?

I mean, i gave him bright shining hints
He knew what they meant
Thank the God's.

He didn't give many hints
At least that my scattered brain can think of.

Maybe the songs that he added? The fact he had always checked discord when I mentioned my status? Maybe it was the sleeping on call and saying good morning?

Man, I really am dumb

Hes so pretty though.
So silly.
Always goofing around,
Or entirely focused and serious.

I mean,
Hell,
Bro fixed a computer on stream
With me distracting him unfortunately

God, I don't know how I'm handling this.

Hes so cool.
So fucking cool.

I wanna hug him so bad
He even said I could
But I'm scared to ask him if hes free

I'm scared to take the first step
Cause I don't want to jump any steps.
Not like before.

I don't want it to end up like before.
Ive told him some of it
He doesn't know everything

He knows I'm hyper. Hes okay with it, as long as I dont cross his boundaries I'm guessing.
Which
Yeah
I wasn't planning on breaking any boundaries.

I would never break a promise
Let alone boundaries.

I'm so glad he communicates
Even if he cant respond with words
I know what he means.

The smile at the camera when checking what I said
The emoji reactions when asking a yes or no question

Ugh
Hes so <3
What am I supposed to do?

Id be his first relationship.
Hed be my... Seventh?

I don't want to be the toxic first relationship
I wanna make it a decent experience for him
Or at least put him on the path to learn more about it.

He already seems really good at things
Hes good at a lot of things

He is so cool.

I like him. A lot. :]

600 words <3