The Beast Within

Fifteen

Redemption Isn't Easy...

It's now been two weeks since Riley had hit me. I haven't left him, although he knows that if he does anything that causes me harm, I'm gone. I haven't forgiven him yet. I still want to keep him on his toes. Am I sick for this? I feel like a sick bitch for this. But part of me also feels like this is what he deserves. He shouldn't have put his hands on me.

ButitwasanaccidentHelovesyouHesobbedthinkingaboutitHeapologized

My thoughts won't stop trying to get me to let it go and forgive him, and I don't want to tell anyone because although what he did was terrible, I still love him and don't want to be away from him. I know I'm crazy, but I guess we all are in some way, right?

I was getting ready for work. The bruise had done healed up and I had the week off last week. As I was putting my apron on, the bathroom door opened. Riley stood there with his hands in his pockets. He looked miserable. Like me avoiding him is causing him pain. And I feel terrible that it does.

"Hi," he says as if we haven't spoken in these two weeks. Any time we talk, it's very limited. I've also moved to the guest room to refrain from sleeping beside him.

"Hey," I said back, now doing my hair. "Are you driving me to work or should I get Harper to do it?" I asked him.

"No, I'll drive you if you want me to," he said.

I chuckle. "If I didn't want you to, I wouldn't have asked, Riley," I said to lighten up the mood. I can't lie when I say that seeing him sad doesn't break my heart. I hate seeing him down like this.

A small smile comes on his face. "Y...Yeah, you're right," he says. "I'll just put some shoes on, then we can go." I nodded. He walked up to me and cupped my face in his hands. Before I could say anything, he leaned down to kiss my lips. I sighed in the kiss. He needed this. And I won't lie, I missed his kisses too. I pulled away and smiled.

"We need to get going, I don't want to be late," I told him. He nodded and kissed my forehead before taking my hand and walking out to the car.

The drive wasn't silent this time. I turned the radio on and hummed softly to some tunes I knew. Riley glanced at me from time to time. For most of the drive, he held my hand. He's loosening up, thankfully. We were parked in front of my workplace.

"Alright. I get picked up at 4 today," I told him. He nodded. "I love you," I said.

He turns to look at me. He smiles softly. "I love you too, Rose," he said back. He leaned over and kissed my cheek and then placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I'll see you later." I smiled and got out of the car.

As I walk in, I see my coworkers behind the counter either making drinks, food, or taking orders. "Hey, y'all," I greeted.

"Hey, Khiri," I hear back from most.

I can't stop thinking about my husband. I know he's sorry and I feel terrible for wanting to torture him. He's not himself. He's sad all of the time and I feel as if I'm making it worse by keeping him on his toes. Maybe we should talk when I get home. A deep conversation that'll help us understand each other and hopefully to forget about the situation.

* Riley's POV *

I called Ralph to come over. He had said how he had needed to get out of the house because apparently Roni's being 'difficult.' Knowing him, he had probably laid hands on her and she's avoiding him. I don't understand how when someone hits and beats you for so long, how you can stay and endure that. I know I'm not one to talk since three weeks ago, I stroked Khiri. But that was just once. With them, it's constant. And I find myself feeling bad for Roni that she's even in that situation. But I don't wanna go against my brother.