In His Eyes

Peace

"Oh. It's you." She stood at the front door and looked at the face of a man in trouble. "I suppose you came to tell me I should have let you in last night?" She scowled and crossed her arms across her chest. Mainly to give her the air of someone not to be messed with and also to stop herself dragging him into the house and snogging his face off.

Yes, after a sleepless, angry, and hurt night, she STILL wanted to, as much as ever.

"Err no. No. I... err... can I come in?" He squinted at her, feeling awkward in the extreme. There was a pause while she considered the wisdom of agreeing.  She decided it was a huge mistake.

"Ok." She stepped back.  Mistakes, it seemed, were her forte.

"Thanks." With a quick look around the street, not lost on Beth, he walked through the now wide open door.

They walked in silence into the kitchen. "Tea? Coffee?" She snapped the kettle on.

"Me?" He quipped, trying to lighten the atmosphere and resurrect a conversation and a feeling he now feared were dead.

She shook her head and smiled despite her resolve. "You never change, do you?" She leaned against the countertop and looked at him steadily.

"Do - do you want me to?" He asked softly, almost apologetically.

She turned away to prepare their tea.  "No." She breathed almost inaudibly. "Never." Looking down at the mug now in her hands, she sighed. "So. What happened? What did I do?"

"I'm sorry?" That was not what he'd expected at all.  What made her think...? He paused, wanting nothing more than to hold her tightly and promise her the world.

"Well," she turned and passed him a mug, "I would prefer NOT to think you just decided to stand me up on a whim.  So, with that in mind, what did I do to cause you to change your mind?  I promise to hear you out."

She walked over to the small table and sat down heavily.  "Biscuit?" She pushed a food saver at him filled with gingernuts.

"Thanks." He sat opposite her, slinging his jacket over the back of the chair. He reached over and grabbed the box, their fingers brushing for a few seconds. The electricity between them was as delicious as it was a shock.

Springing back as if they'd been electrocuted, they smiled and took a biscuit each.  Tom slowly dunked his in his tea with great precision, then proceeded to stick it in his mouth all in one go. He closed his eyes and munched, a satisfied 'mmmmm' emanating from him.

Despite everything, Beth burst out laughing. Really, honestly, laughing. In that one gesture, all her walls came crumbling down.

He opened his eyes, and seeing her laughing, his heart relaxed. Perhaps he was going to get a second chance after all?

"I was at a screening for my friend Ben's new movie." He sipped his tea and went on. "The Q&A afterwards; I was the moderator.  It ran on far FAR longer than I expected. Im so sorry, Beth, really I am.  It's not like I could even contact you.  Once we were on stage, that was it.

"Ben?" She homed in on the name like a heat-seeking missile. "Not... Benedict Cumberbatch...?" Her mouth twitched into a shy smile. "He's cute!"

For a moment, Tom felt deflated beyond measure. All she got out of that apology was Ben. Feck. He sighed and nodded. "Yeah. The one and the same. Dr Strange, Sherlock..." he shrugged, and she nodded, deciding to wind him up gently.

"Do - do you think I could meet him? I mean, just for a few minutes? I've admired him for such a long time. Be a dream to meet him." She simpered and rested her chin in her hand, gazing at Tom.  He looked like a man in torment, and she knew she'd done enough. It was time to put him out of his misery.

"Him AND his lovely wife, of course!"
She grinned at Tom, and he suddenly realised he'd been had. His face changed, and he took on his usual charming smile.  She laughed. "You thought... you really thought... oh Thomas, you silly man."

She stood up and walked round to where he sat. She perched on the table edge, just looking at him, smiling.  He looked at her, his breath shallow, his heart racing. Taking his mug from his hand, she put it on the table.  Holding his long, elegant fingers and entwining them with her own, she rubbed his thumb knuckle  gently. Being so tall, even sitting, he was still almost looking directly at her.

"Do you have ANY idea? What you've done? To me?"

He shook his head, almost afraid to speak. To break the moment.

"Before I met you, I'd promised myself, after Rob, no one would ever 'own' me again. No one would ever be able to change how I saw, felt, thought about myself.  But now?"

She paused and smiled, "now I find myself aching for that special look. That special touch, those words of approval I feel so desperate for once again.  From you.  All from you, Tom."   She reached forward and stroked his cheek, the feeling of his beard sensual to her touch.

He turned his head, and his lips met her palm. She smiled and continued. "I think it's time I put all my cards on the table."

"Ok." he knew this was a big deal for her. He didn't interrupt. Try to be clever or funny. This, he knew with racing certainty, was his second chance, and he didn't want to waste it.

"Can we sit in the living room? I just want us to be comfortable."

They walked through and sat on the sofa. Not side by side, really. More corner to corner.  Once they were settled, she took a breath.

"His name was Rob Brewster, and he very nearly destroyed me..."

An hour later, it was done. All out in the open. All the anger, bitterness, shame, and regret.  Tom looked at her with eyes bright with emotion and pride.  For her and in her. She was even more amazing than she first appeared.  He was genuinely astonished.

"Beth, darling Beth. You are, quite simply, amazing." He tentatively reached for her hand. "I wish I could have known you longer so I could have begun to make up for that... that man..far sooner." he couldn't speak his name.

Beth smiled and pulled him into a hug. Just a tight, warm hug.  It was all she needed in the world at that moment.  Him, his arms, his understanding.  As he held her close, she knew she had that. She could barely comprehend that she could have so much more.