Metanoia

Chapter 8: The Coma

• Ivory •

          It's so hazy in here, but the light is so warm. I think the fog is okay as long as I can stay away from the dark and cold. I can see stars in a pink and orange sky, just faintly beyond the horizon and past the misty wall in my vision. It's beautiful, this sky is glorious and all it's light is keeping me safe, I can feel it. I slide down to the ground and sit in a crisscross position. I can move my legs freely, there's no pain. This is unusual, but comforting.

          Too comforting to be true.

          "Ivory. . ." I turn, startled at the suddenness of the drawn, yelling whisper. I stand, jaw hanging low in disbelief. The voice is warm and low, yet cheery and free of pain. I feel tears flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably and my eyes burn with longing. "Dad? Dad is that really you?" I stumble forward, reaching for his form, then running. I run in for a hug, "Dad! Where have you . . ." And he vanished into dust. This can't be happening, not again. "Where did you go?" I cry out, and suddenly everything seems much bigger than I am. My voice sounds smaller and I see my hands have become younger just as I have. This doesn't stop my search. I run into the emptiness before me, away from the warm light and hazy glaze over the horizon that kept me so safe, and into the shadowy darkness where the cold resides.

          "Dad? Dad where are you? Please!" I feel like I can't breathe, and suddenly something grapples at my ankles and I fall flat on my face. I scream but I feel a million hands grab at my tiny body, dark shadowy, freezing hands. "Stop! Please, please stop!" I rasp out in a desperate  and ever-losing struggle to escape. For a fleeting moment I am able to look up and I see him, grey and blue. I see him, lifeless. I see him, and then he is gone.

          The hands force my head down and I feel water rushing towards me. "No! No!" It's useless, and all my fight is gone. The only thing I can do now is let the hands rip me apart and I embrace the current. And as I feel myself ripped limb from limb, I hear a faint and eerie beeping of a heart monitor in the distance, then it goes flat. ". . . Up!" A faint and angry voice is too distant to hear clearly, and I feel myself bleeding out, becoming empty, becoming the void. "Wa. . . Up!" It grows closer, and angrier.

           "WAKE UP! goddamn it!"

          My eyes shoot open and I feel like I have just gotten done being seared on a blazing hot pan for a steakhouse table of fifteen. My face feels wet from tears, was I crying in my sleep? Then I see Kian's tall, strong figure, looming over me menacingly with a grimace of a thousand lions on his face. I feel my heart racing for too many reasons. I can't deny his handsomeness despite his cruel behaviors. I wonder what has him in a mood this time but I can't stop myself from staring, and oddly enough his gaze softens into confusion a little bit. "Ah . . . S . . . Sorry." I snap out of it and wipe my face with my hands. I am already out of breath and I haven't even stood up yet. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" I ask, concerned and a bit shaken up. "Nothing would be wrong if you hadn't left your wheelchair in the hallway." He growls low.

          My eyes widen, did he get injured? I didn't mean to get him hurt, "Are you alright? Did you trip over it? I am so sorry." I ask and apologize with utmost sincerity. I jump up to my feet, a bit panicked, big mistake. He rolls his eyes and sighs, annoyed, "obviously, why else would I be pissed off? I am in so much pain now, how am I going to focus in school if I can only feel the pain in my ankle bothering me all day? How am I supposed to do well in practice today, I literally have to . . . "

          He keeps ranting on, and on, and on but his voice fades out quickly and sounds like Peanut's parents. "Kian . . ." I try and call out to get his attention, but he seems to enjoy the sound of his own voice better and doesn't hear me. My vision goes out, fading in like little black snakes were swimming in my field of view, and I can feel myself lose balance. I try to reach out to hold onto anything for support, and then there is only silence . . .