J

Jasmine 2

Jasmine is stunning... Why would someone like her want to be with someone like me? Am I lucky after all? Maybe I am. She was looking at me. It was the first time I went out with someone in years. I looked at her. She was beautiful. She was waving at me... Or was she? Maybe she is waving at someone else. I look around and see nobody. Is she trying to prank me? Maybe... I should be careful. Or maybe not, I am overthinking this too much. Nobody would love me she's laughing at me. Shut up. These stupid thoughts that flow randomly through my mind are annoying as hell.

     - Hey!

     - H-hi Jasmine... - I said quietly, I was so ashamed...

     - Why are you so quiet? - Jasmine whispered

At this moment I felt ashamed. I tried to come up with some stupid excuse. Why am I so miserable with people? I guess I am too introverted. Does the term "introverted" even exist? It is probably invented by the society so people can adapt to stereotypical behaviours. Does it even matter though? We're all dying after all. I guess we're all the same before God's eyes.

    - Why are you so quiet? Thinking about someone? - Jasmine asked

     - Oh... No, it's nothing...

If I told her everything I thought about she would think I am crazy. The rest of the evening went smoothly. We talked, laughed, and everything that people do. I haven't talked to someone like that in a long time. I guess having no friends is not that good. Or is it? Who cares?

After 2 weeks of talking, I knew I was in love. I didn't know how did love work. Is it really just a chemical reaction? That doesn't make any sense. It's too complex and mysterious. Or maybe not. Maybe it's difficult for me because never experienced it. Anyway, the problem came when I declared my feelings to Jasmine. I thought I had the world in my hands, but little did I know that she wasn't into boys. I never understood why. Why? I always saw her with boys. Doesn't that make her interested? Why would she be lesbian? I do not comprehend.

I lost my friendship with her. She didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to her. The friendship couldn't work after one of the ends declared love. I screwed things up again. As always... I will never love anybody again. Ever.