This is really painful for me to talk about but I guess you should know everything if I'm going to do this story. I guess I should start back in freshman year this new girl transferred to our school. The first time I saw her I knew I would have a major crush on her. She had long black hair with side bangs covering her forehead and heavy eyeliner she was even wearing a Black Veil Brides t-shirt it was a match made in heaven. She was the prettiest girl hands down at our school...I found out later that her name was Raven...even hearing her name typing her name saying her name causes a whirlwind of emotions...pain depression anger and takes me back to my suicidal black hole I've been trying so desperately to get out of. So I guess I got side traced pouring out my emotions to you. Anyway later that day I found out I had two classes with her English and Spanish. I mean I just couldn't help but stare at her she was so beautiful. She sat one seat ahead of me and as the weeks went on we hadn't said one word to each other. She mostly hung out with the Emo girls and all of them are my exes so I was worried they were telling her how horrible I was when I'm not they just pissed they can't get with this. One day in Spanish we were assigned a partner for a Spanish project. I got paired with Raven. We decided to meet up at my house and this is where things get interesting. While we were working I was so caught up in how beautiful she was i kissed her. Kissing turned into making out and eventually we found our selfs in the bedroom. She was my first and at the time she told me I was her first but I found out later she lied to me I asked her why she would lie about Something like that and she simply said I didn't want to hurt your feelings. we ended up going out and it was 10 months of lots of making out sex and deep conversations. I talked about my struggles with depression cutting family problems friends death and she seemed to understand. She would talk all the time about running away because she hated her family and her life so much. She would always say I was the best thing that happened to her her life saver the only thing keeping her from having a complete mental breakdown. At the 6th month I realized I was in love with her. I was spending the night at her house and went to go use the bathroom as I was washing my hands I saw in front of me a positive pregnancy test. I remember going into a state of shock It was mixture of I get to be a parent of a beautiful baby with this beautiful girl and confusion of how could this happen? I went into the bedroom and layer down next to her and asked her why she didn't tell me. From that moment on she has never been the same person. She started yelling at me calling a perverted creep who was sneaking through her personal things. The next thing she said was the one that cut like a knife "It's not even yours you disgusting creep I would never have a baby with a freak like you" it turns out she had been cheating on me with is whole time with one of our schools football players. she ended up getting an abortion and she is currently dating the baby daddy leaving me lonely. what's even worse shes not an Emo anymore she's a preppy girl with blonde hair and wears blue eyed contacts she listens to pop music and is the most popular girl in the school like she was faking her problems the entire time. if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like I committing now I can't handle this on top of all my other problems it's been a month and I'm still not over her what wrong with me?!
