words to go by [j.sc + male!reader!]

20

73 days.

That's how long it's been since I've last looked into Sungchan's eyes and he looked back. 73 days since I've last felt his skin without him pulling away.

He says everything is fine. He told me it was just stress from working on our debut.

Why does he think I believe him?

The other members have taken notice. They've seen our dynamic from when were in NCT, they know that whatever this it, it's not normal. Sungchan is running out of excuses to leave the room when I enter, it's gotten to the point where he doesn't even say anything and instead just leaves.

6 years I've known him, and now he's throwing it all down the drain because what? He's pissed off that RIIZE is now 8 instead of 7?

You'd think after having to leave your previous group, he'd be happy debuting with both his best friends. But I guess he only ever truly saw Shotaro as his friend.

"Sungchan." I call to him. He was sat on the couch, only him and I were in the dorms so I had to do this now.

He turns, startled. Standing and ready to leave.

"Don't even think about it." I scoffed at him, taking a couple steps towards him.

He froze, eyes wide like he's been caught stealing a cookie from his mother. It made no sense, stress doesn't make you scared to talk with your best friend. We tell each other when we are upset, we comfort each other when something goes wrong.

So why is he fucking acting like this?

"You have to tell me." I press my lips into a thin line, watching as his fists clench around the fabric on his sweatpants.

"Tell you what?" He still hasn't made proper eye contact, looking anywhere but my eyes.

He's making me frustrated. "Tell me why you all of a sudden hate my presence?"

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath before answering. "I... I don't hate your presence. Why can't you just accept the fact I'm struggling with the redebut?"

There he goes again, blaming it on the fact our debut is just around the corner. He's never been good at lying, he always lifts a hand to pick at his lips when he's avoiding the truth.

"Struggling? Sungchan, I get it's a stressful time right now, but this isn't how you struggle with things." I heard the way my voice was raising, I didn't mean for it to happen but I'm pissed off that he's ruining our friendship and lying about the reason. "I know you've never been good at asking for help verbally, but never once have you needed help and not come to my room."

73 days, and this what causes him to look me in the eyes. "You're not the only person in my life, Y/n. I can go to other people for help. Just like how you've been going to Wonbin for help."

There was a tinge of jealously in his voice. He doesn't have the right to be jealous over me making new friends right now.

"Who are you getting help from then? Because I know for a fact it's not Shotaro. I know it's not anyone from RIIZE, or Taeyong, or Haechan, and I've asked Jungwoo. So who the fuck are you getting help from?" I felt so much pressure in my body right now, as if one small touch to my shoulder will send tears streaming down my face.

"I can't!" Sungchan yelled. "I can't fucking ask for help because it's my fault!"

I didn't know what he meant by any of this. He was pissed off at me a second ago, and now he's got tears running down his face and his blaming himself for who the hell knows.

"Sungchan... what are you talking about?" I furrow my eyebrows, wanting to take a step closer but not knowing how.

He was using the couch for support at this point. Whatever he believed was his fault had him devastated to the point he was struggling to stand. "It's my fault.... It's my fault you were kicked from NCT."

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Alright time to move this story along, I'm sick of this drama and just want them to kiss already🙄