Sublime Messages

Five, A

Days, weeks, months passed. Come Christmas, Whit still hadn't been found. The boy had just vanished off the face of the earth, apparently, and no search of the area could bring up evidence of how or why. Temperatures were in the forties and fifties, and yet Ruby stayed indoors most of the time. She didn't know what to do without her brother. They'd not been inseparable, that was sure, and in fact Whit had annoyed her most of the time to the point where she'd tried to ditch him more often than not. But he was still her brother, the only person who'd been steadfast and by her side most of her life. He'd cared about her without any reservation, and she'd just taken him for granted.

Mama was more a mess than Ruby would've predicted. For as much as the woman hadn't cared about her son when he was around, she certainly mourned his absence, or at least used it as an excuse to self-medicate more than she'd already been doing. The only reason Ruby even considered leaving the house from time to time was because she wanted to escape her mother, whose drinking and drugging had intensified to the point where she didn't know her own daughter half the time. Ruby wasn't entirely sure where Mama got her supply, but she thought it wasn't likely the Hernandez sisters, because they all didn't get along with one another (for reasons unknown to the girl). She would've guessed Donny Asher, who'd always been somehow able to procure illicit substances, but he was dead, now. There were certainly other questionable people in the neighborhood, but most of them kept to themselves.

What was it about that stuff—drugs and alcohol—that made her mother so insane? Ruby had tried a sip of something here or there, never felt much about it, but maybe she hadn't had enough. And she'd never done drugs besides a little weed, when one of the Kirk boys had convinced her to try some. All she'd done was cough a lot, and they'd laughed, and she'd gone on her way.

Those Kirk boys. "Damn 'em to hell!" Ruby found herself muttering aloud. No matter what they told the police, she was positive they knew something about Whit. She just felt it in her bones. And she'd wanted to tell those Kirks what she knew, that she'd turn them in for that conversation she'd overheard them having with Donny, but something had held her back. Not fear, but something else, something more linked to Damien. Telling them what she knew might somehow get back to Damien, and she didn't want him to get hurt. As much as he'd frustrated her, she didn't want him mixed up with the Kirks or the police because of her loose lips.

She hadn't even seen Damien since Whit had disappeared. She'd stopped going to see him on Sundays; she didn't exactly know why. Ruby thought maybe she was in love with Damien. Maybe. Love sounded like the word for what she felt, but she was only fourteen, and there were a lot of feelings in her at all times, so she couldn't be sure. But the notion of being around Damien, being in his overwhelming presence while he continued to mostly ignore her and then on top of that sit and stew over her brother? Well, it all just seemed like it'd be too much for her. Besides, she figured Damien wouldn't miss her much anyway. He never seemed to notice her most times.

Voices wafted from down the hall. Mama's voice and . . . a man's voice. Ruby thought for a moment her father had come back, but the higher pitch of this man told her otherwise. Daddy had visited only once in the time since Whit's disappearance, and he'd expressed little concern for the son he'd lost before heading back out on the road. Ruby had never known what exactly it was her father did out there. Her mother had always called him a traveling businessman, but whatever business he traveled for was a topic never discussed.

"You sure you can't just wait?"

That was the man's hoarse voice, like he was trying to whisper. Ruby was in her and her brother's bedroom, a mess of old junk and clothes and cheap broken furniture and bedding, so she crept to her door to listen. Mama never had people over.

"Zane, baby, I can't wait. Goddamn don't make me wait!" That was Mama, pleading. Ruby's gut sank.

"I don't feel comfortable here is all."