My heart skipped a beat as the photo came to life. There we were, Jacob and I, jumping up and down and grinning at Mom. She must have thought it was because we were excited. Mischievous, giggling, and making silly faces at each other. Little did she...
"But the wolf is always there, even when I can't see it."
— Brianna Albers, "The Audre Lorde Questionnaire to Oneself"
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"One more time! Focus!"
I gripped my wand, struggling to recall even a single joyful memory. They all seemed distant, like images seen through a foggy window.
I sifted through them like flipping through an old photo album: our last Christmas when Jacob set off self-made fireworks; the tales from Beedle the Bard that Dad read on rare evenings he wasn't traveling; receiving my acceptance letter. Our first ride on the Hogwarts Express, with Rowan and that electrifying sense of anticipation.
Most of these memories felt fleeting, half-forgotten, impossible to grasp. Most of them were about Jacob.
"Expecto Patronum!"
I waved my wand, feeling the magic flowing from my shoulder to my fingertips. Whoosh! But instead of a fully formed Patronus, there was only a feeble glimmer. It ascended slowly, meeting my eyes before unraveling into hundreds of thin threads that flickered and faded.
I shook my head in frustration. What was going wrong?
"Perhaps the memory isn't strong enough," Tonks suggested as she packed her bag and collected some empty sweet wrappers. "Will be better next time."
I sighed, stowing my wand and gathering the scattered books, notes, quills, and candies strewn about the room. I took extra care collecting the Nose-Biting Teacup collection Tonks had purchased for Tulip, for the day when Madam Pomfrey would finally allow her to leave the Hospital Wing. For me, the Ravenclaw Tower felt empty without Karasu.
Tonks froze by the door, her ear attuned to any footsteps in the corridor or the sound of seniors' laughter. The last thing we needed was to run into an evening patrol.
As expected, word of the Dementor incident spread like wildfire, clamping us down in a group-only movement policy, always shadowed by Prefects or teachers. The vigilant, watchful gaze haunted us, whether within the castle or the common room.
Sneaking out became no easy task, especially with the new Prefect eyeing us, particularly me. Was it the professors' orders, or did my accidental "Chester" slip play a role?
The mention of Davies nagged at me, then disappeared in Tonks' lively banter. "Any guesses on your Patronus? Imagine if it's a jackrabbit too! We could have a proper rabbit race, you know?"
A faint smile spread across my lips, widening with each word she spoke. That was Tonks, easygoing and cheery, with an infectious joy rivaling Dragon Pox. We moved onward, halting when patrols swirled by, either too oblivious or preoccupied to spot two rule-breakers.
"Phew, barely dodged that one," she exhaled, pulling me along into a portrait passage. "Reminds me of our second year and how Snape..."
Tonks grumbled disapprovingly but I scarcely heard her, snagged by an unfamiliar voice echoing through the walls. I tugged on Tonks' sleeve and she stopped abruptly, cutting herself off mid-sentence. The story about Snape was left unfinished.
