Oneshots I guess

Thing that was supposed to be a personal narrative (Ganga Hjarta Setr)

"-Don't worry, but let me give you a phrase. Kvrenr neitjr mekn erjkil dir. Betrayal never comes from an enemy. Connections are dangerous. You need to be careful with who you trust, who you divulge your secrets to. Otherwise it might be the last thing you do."

I wasn't sure what to make of that. "... I can trust you, right?"

Doubt seeped through my voice, yet I wasn't entirely sure what to think. Father took a deep breath, and in a steady voice, replied, "You can always trust me. I promise."

"Tyrus."

But could I trust him? Could I trust the man who named me 'Happiness,' with the expectation that I would be everything he hoped for? Could I trust him, even though what I was doing and feeling was most definitely not what he would wish for me?

Could I trust anyone when I was the one ending their lives?

"Tyrus?"

"Tenavik, you're gonna do just fine."

"Hey Tyrus, you okay?"

I blinked and snapped back to reality, my mind still slightly fuzzy from me zoning out. "What? Yeah, just... in my head."

The frost gremlin curled up in my arms let out a soft laugh. "Thinking of yesterday?"

"I mean, a lot of things happened, so... hard not to think about it."

"Fair." Rei sighed, turning into me and burying their head in the crook of my neck. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm even in this job at all. I mean... I'm happy here, I like being here, but I'm just always... scared."

"Scared of dying like Axon and Hazel and the rest...?" I asked.

"Yeah. I guess it's just the hazards of the job, but... it really shouldn't be. I mean, I could have been an engineer on Earth and maintaining the Dropships and or working on the Skeld, but I'm here on this planet that's half-gone with the molten core cooling at untold speeds and the magnetic field disintegrating and no atmosphere left-"

"-and all other signs of life gone except for us," I finished. "And the fossils, and chunks of rocks, and..."

"...the corpses."

"Yeah..."

We were both silent for a while, thoughts evidently running through both of our heads. I broke the silence.

"So... he hasn't exactly said it, but... Volt doesn't want me... making connections."

A pause, and then quietly, an "oh."

"I mean, he's... like a father figure to me–" Is my father. "–and I really value his input–" I have taken everything he has said to me as truth for my entire life. "–but I don't know what to think about... all of this." I'm the happiest I've ever been with you but my father is right in the sense that it can't last and I don't know what to do because all of my life I've been doing everything to earn his approval and now I can't tell which parts of me are me and which parts of me are parts that he cultivated in me.

"Do you... do you like our relationship?"

"A lot." I wasn't sure how exactly I could tell Rei the extent to what I felt.

"And... does he dictate everything in your life?"

"I mean... no?"

Rei shrugged a little. "Then I suppose it's a matter of does this make you happy? Do you want to do this? And if the answer is yes, then it's your life, and your decision to make."

"I mean–I know that," I said, "but it's just that he's been such a big part of my life–" he's been the only one really in my life before you came along, "–and I really want his approval and... I don't know, I just want him to be okay with me and my decisions."

"He's not the captain of your ship, though," Rei said. "You can take his decisions into account when making your own, but it's ultimately up to you. You know you don't have to do exactly what he wants you to do for him to be happy for you, if he cares for you, right?"

I blinked a couple times, wondering how that thought had never crossed my mind. I didn't just have to be Tenavik for my father. I didn't just have to be Tyrus for Rei. As far as I was concerned, both were the same people, and perhaps Tyrus wasn't all that fake of a mask as I thought.

"How do you know all of this?" I asked.

"Years of battling with myself and thoughts at three am."

"... fair enough."