Nothing Beyond the Platform and <P> and Other Lies

Chapter 2

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The sun sets, creating a dazzling and majestic light violet, too light to be purple. It is reflected off of the thing called the ocean, and for once the ocean is calm. The waves are little, and they wash up on the shore not overwhelmingly, but quite peacefully, almost like a kiss, or sweet rain or a splash of perfect paint on a canvas. The sand around me that I'm standing on in bare feet is also really nice. It's damp, but nice and cool, not mean and cold. My feet slowly sink into it as the rhythm of the waves washes over me.

Back and forth. But for once I'm at peace and I can understand my surroundings.

I look at the sun and I finally am beginning to acknowledge it. Maybe... just maybe it can survive on it's own wrath, but maybe now it's finally at peace, like me. Maybe the sun isn't angry anymore and it's come back to us, not deciding to leave with it's beautiful brilliance.

I wish I could stay in this moment forever. I take a few steps forward and catch my breath in this moment of translucent and intoxicating captivation.

I love you, I think, though I'm unsure to who or what I'm thinking this too. What is love? How do I love?

I don't know, I can't answer that yet, but I know that this warm swelling in my chest is... love. And I'm struck dumb. I cannot think about anything besides the beat of my heart, steady like the waves that continually caress my toes. And not in a weird way either.

When I took a few steps forward, the sun went further down and I can now clearly see the reflections on the water. The waves have stopped, if that's even possible and the ocean is flat. Completely flat. It goes on and on and on, but I can see that, I can see the sun slowly dipping and it's vibrant colors clearly reflected on the water. The sun is making its finale exit, and the stars are slowly coming out into the fuschia sky, that is slowly becoming red, but it's a nice red. I can see the stars and they're twinkling and I'm thinking, How is this possible? when the sun suddenly completely disappears.

The warmth is gone, but there is still light and even though the water is getting colder I can see more stars, a fair exchange in my mind. But then the waves come back, with a growing tension and strength and I think that maybe the sun was angry and it just made the water angry too when the lights go out and so do the stars.

I'm standing in a pitch pitch black empty space that is all cold and consuming. It's like a stifling suffocating madness but I haven't lost it quite yet and then there's a snap and I'm running into the water except it's not water anymore but just pure nothingness. I can't even tell if I'm moving but my heart is burning again except not with love but a longing for love. I was warm but now I'm cold and I would give anything to go back to the moment before the snap and I'm so cold and still and then I realize

I'm alone. And I'm not supposed to be alone. I don't want to be alone but here I am. And no one can hear me, even if I found the strength to shout. I breathe in the nothingness, letting it fill my lungs and then all of a sudden I hear a

"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" followed by a Smack! and a fit of giggles. All of these occurred in succession and all by my little 7 year old sister. She did this every morning, out of habit or simply for the fun of it I do not know.

I have gotten tired of it, but regardless I open my eyes, the dream still fresh in my mind, and oddly enough not faded quite yet, and feel my cheek. She smacked me really hard, at least harder than she had yesterday.

"Good morning Jada," I said, hiding how miffed I was. I could not take my mind off of the dream. The feelings were so so real, and I could feel them even now. The places were still blazed in my mind as well. Intoxicating memories that I could relish and reflect on whenever I pleased, unlike all of my other dreams.

"Where are the eggs and bakey?" I asked. Out of habit or for the fun of it I do not know.

"Nowhere silly! I can't cook!" Jada giggled again. It was always the same with her, and I found it difficult to understand. She made my life repetitive, but I'm not complaining. I love her. I love her to death and I'd never trade her away for anything, not even my parents. She's the reason-both literally and figuratively-why I get up in the morning anymore.

Everything that I do, I do for her.

A piece of shrapnel in my mind comes flying out of nowhere and pierces me with a conscious thought tied to the end of it as it quivers on the target.

What is love? This is love.