Ghosts

1 The funeral

"Jules was a special person in many ways. He loved people - he loved all of you here. We talked a lot about people, he always loved to do that, and I know from those conversations how much each and every one of you enriched his life. He also loved the people he didn't know. He became a doctor because he wanted to do good for people. A successful operation, relieved relatives, a grateful patient - these moments drove him on and meant so much to him. Jules was a cheerful person in body and soul.

I don't know where he got his strength from to suddenly bring joy to the most routine everyday situations, to create an energy that captivated everyone. You all knew his exuberant, hearty laugh, and I think he infected every one of us with it at one time or another. I believe he allowed himself to fall into this laughter completely unprotected and unreservedly, revealing his deepest inner self with such honesty that you dared to drop your own shell, your own shame."

Several of the mourners nodded and the memories brought a wistful smile to the lips of some. Ramon took a deep breath and blinked back a tear before continuing in a calm, low voice."

He was much more to me than just my brother. He was there for me all my life: when we were little, he looked after me and proudly taught me everything he had just learned from our parents. As we got older, he took me to parties before I was old enough to party with my friends. When we came home at night, he would explain the different types of alcohol to me and give me tips on how to approach the girls in my class. The older we got, the more he went from being my teacher to my best friend. We could talk and discuss everything. 

After we left home and each went our own way, this exchange became even more fruitful because we were immersed in very different waters of life. When we were together, we reflected on our experiences together. Jules was always my safe haven, whether we were close or far apart, the certainty of having him was so firmly anchored in my mind that it had an indirect effect on all my important decisions, convictions and even my entire personality.

Jules left us far too early. His tragic death has shaken me, and I'm sure you too, to the core. We are left with memories of the beautiful but also the difficult moments we shared with him. Perhaps it can be a consolation that Jules lived his life to the full. He based everything he did on what he felt and I don't think he regretted anything. I know the shock is still on all of our necks and the grief is still raw and undigested on our hearts. But Jules would have wanted us to face grief with gratitude, with happy memories and with the joy of life, not with helplessness, the illusion of lost possibilities and worry about our own transience. Therefore, after the funeral, I would like to invite you to a wake in Chestnut Avenue to celebrate Jules and life together."

Ramon stepped away from the simple lectern set up at the head of the dimly lit funeral hall. He took one last look at the coffin. His brother's face had lost hardly any of its vibrancy. The light brown hair, which Jules had always groomed with great pathos, fell in light curls to his chin. His short, almost blond beard gave him a somewhat rough but likeable appearance. Laugh lines stood out around his eyes, which would now remain closed forever. He had had the same deep, dark blue eyes as Ramon. Even strangers had once recognized them as brothers by their eyes alone, although they hardly looked alike otherwise. 

Ramon had dark, almost black hair, which he wore short. He was usually clean-shaven and slimmer, which made him look even taller than Jules. In everyday life, he usually wore tight-fitting black T-shirts and skinny jeans, which emphasized his athletic figure. He didn't care much about clothes and took defiant pleasure in always wearing the same outfits, despite every fashion trend. 

Jules, on the other hand, had paid more attention to his wardrobe. He had enjoyed strolling through department store boutiques and trying on clothes in a wide variety of styles, cuts and colors to see how he felt in them and what effect they had on his appearance. However, he had never created his own style, but combined and changed as the mood took him. One day he was dressed smartly, the next sporty and the third outlandishly colorful. So it had been no easy task for Ramon to choose the pieces that would now accompany his brother on his final journey. As he had stood in front of the closet, each piece had brought back memories of moments spent together and he had felt as if Jules was standing in front of him, smiling at him, hugging him. In the end, he had decided on a beige jacket, a white T-shirt and dark gray trousers that Jules had worn when they had gone to the lake together last summer.