At first the Tribrid had full intentions of furiously crumbling the paper of her boyfriend's handwritten lyrics--words he'd stolen from a personal letter that she allowed him to read in confidence, but instead she released a drawn-out, overwhelmed exhale. Everything just felt so out of control lately, especially her relationship with the guy who currently had his hands stuffed deep in his pockets "Landon," She tried to control her aggravation as she shot him an unrelenting stare, "this was an invasion of privacy." Scoffing, she turned her head away and stared at her painting, voice hardening, "it's not some romantic gesture, if that's what you thought I'd think."
He blinked in surprise at Hope's vexed reaction, his adrenaline spiking. His heart thumped loudly, his hands suddenly feeling clammy as his body geared him into fight or flight mode. "I…I don't know what to think, truthfully." Landon's exasperation was apparent by his frantic tone. "Lately, every time I try to…to fix… whatever I'm even trying to fix," His eyes watered, "I do something wrong. Every. Goddamn. Time." He bit his lip, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth anxiously, his heart still beating rapidly as he pushed on in a calmer tone while finding the nearest surface he could lean his back against to put good distance between him and the Tribrid beauty. His hands long since left his pockets. He blew out a breath, "I love you, but I'm… I'm hurting, okay." His eyes widened slightly in bewilderment, realizing he's never once put himself before her.
He always believed that her feelings were more important than his, because she's the Tribrid. Because she lost both her parents and was body-snatched as a child by some evil entity. Because she's half-wolf. Because, as she put it, her body has a lot going on inside it, but more importantly, because he loved her. Listening to her problems and wanting to make sure that she was happy everyday came naturally. His chest thumped painfully. But does she feel the same? Was his happiness important to her?
"Have you ever once thought about how I feel?" He questioned promptly, staring at her accusingly, "All I have ever done is kiss the ground you walk on, all day, everyday, including literally giving you foot massages after you've had a stressful day, which is again, almost everyday." When she crashes in his room, they don't have sex. Making out is frequent, but that's after giving her a foot massage, sometimes even a back massage and, or a head massage before they turn over and fall asleep. Now Landon would never bring up sex until she felt ready, but he has to wonder. "Please tell me. When was the last time you've done something to make me happy? Something to help me have a positive day?" He's a natural giver and she's never been too shy to take. That's been their relationship, and he's never cared to question it until now.
Hope scoffed at his words 'kissing the ground you walk on', rolling her eyes dramatically –her natural reflex when she's being talked down to, but then she went silent in thought. Surely, he's wrong. He's choosing to be dramatic and the victim. How dare he tell her that she's done nothing to help him have a positive day? Is he accusing her of being a bad girlfriend? She was not! She flushed in indignation and retorted heatedly, "Two weeks ago, I got you Subway. And I remembered your allergy." She added in triumph with a satisfied smirk.
Landon's lips curled up in dismay, his head shaking with disappointment. "Tell me you don't think that remembering I'm deathly allergic to avocados is a romantic gesture." He tipped his head back against the wall and laughed dryly. "Oh, lucky me– I offer massages, croissants and even tea most mornings and your effort to bring positivity to my day is… what? ." His cheeks stretched wide as a cryptic laugh filled the room again. "An occasional sandwich without the ingredient that kills me." He rolled his eyes in displeasure.
"I never asked you for any special treatment, Landon." Hope's lips pursed in frustration. Her hand raised in anger and her easel slammed against the wall because she was too close to it, the wood snapping in two. Her finished piece of art fell against the carpet, paint dripping because it wasn't fully dry yet. "Yes, today you have brought so much positivity to my day!" She gritted her teeth and spoke in a low tone, gesturing to her broken easel and ruined painting that she perceived he caused.
His eyes quickly diverted from the scowl on her face to the location of the sudden bang, though not surprised in the least. This was normal for them during heated arguments; Hope losing control of her magic, something would break and then she'd comfortably blame him for it. It happened way too frequently that his answer sounded rehearsed, "I've been standing right here, I didn't cause that." Landon's arms crossed. "I…," It was difficult for him to think about what he needed to say next, "I was," Excruciatingly painful, even, because using the WAS confirmed what they both already knew. "I was your boyfriend, Hope. Everyday, I would constantly think of different ways to make you happy. Any way that I could make your day better, I would do it. And not because I had to, but because I wanted to." His chest continued to tighten painfully. "All I asked was for you to reassure me that becoming human didn't mean our relationship was doomed. I wanted you to say that we'd be okay, or at least admit that you didn't feel that way. But instead, you were standoffish and silent, so yes, I walked away."
His determination caused him to push off the wall he was leaning against to get somewhat closer to where she stood. "And you know what," He noted incredulously, "you didn't stop me, and I can't help but to think it's because you wanted me to," Landon's voice lowered to a distressed whisper, "Me walking away gave you the out you've been wanting," His voice grew louder, his anxiety reaching high levels, "because if one quacked like a duck, it must be a duck in the same way that since I walked away, it gave you every reason to consider it a break-up. It gave you the out you needed without having to sit me down to tell me that," His voice cracked, a damning realization hitting as he stared into her blue eyes that he noticed were watering,"I'm useless."
Hope only stood in silence, arms dangling at her side instead of crossing them defensively, not blinking as her ex(considering he picked WAS as the appropriate word to describe their relationship), released all the negative emotions that he was feeling. He was standing a couple inches in front of her , his tone raising, accusing her of wanting their relationship to end. Insisting that she admit she was the one who gave up, despite him being the one to walk away that night. He was the one that used WAS to describe who they were to each other just now. If any person other than Landon, and her family, raised their voice to this level in her direction, she'd have them flying towards the wall with a flick of her wrist–by choice. Not to mention, deliberately getting her so furious that she accidentally lost control of her magic and broke her easel.
That was the problem.
She could never hurt him, because he's the man that she's in love with.
Even as he chose to stand here accusingly with betrayal in his gray-green eyes. "Landon," She sighed defeatedly, " I love you,"
His retort was quick and to the point, "But."
"I can't give you the explanation you'll want." Hope broke eye-contact, her throat feeling dry and tight, "Because as I stand here, listening to your accusing tone in my bedroom, all I can think about is the main reason that contributed to the end of us, Landon."
He instantly broke eye-contact, too. "And what's that?" Landon insisted, but he already knew; he just needed her to admit it, because maybe then he could feel at peace, find closure, even.
Hope turned her head and took a few steps back, twirling a hair strand with her finger anxiously, "I understand you feel useless." Her eyes softened, speaking calmly. "No matter how many times I confirm you're not useless, you refuse to believe it. Each time, you question my love for you, believing I can't possibly love a human without any supernatural ability, as if that's a supernatural rule, but it's not, Landon. That's you internalizing, twisting my words and forcing them to reflect your own insecurities." Hope swallowed, frowning, "And then you actually configured this irrational idea just now," Hope laughed in bewilderment, tilting her head slightly, "that I had some psychological leverage over you, as if I somehow conducted some grand scheme that would end with you deciding to walk away just so I could get rid of this useless guy I'm dating." Despite it sounding so irrational, Hope's heart cracked. "What you need is therapy, Landon." She finished, her tone full of concern. "Because while there were many reasons that inevitably ended our relationship, you need to be entirely aware that your insecurities put so much stress on our relationship that our foundation inevitably broke."
YOU ARE READING
Wishful Thinking
FanfictionSince I didn't like Hope slandering Landon in 3x03(thought it was ooc tbh), I'm writing a fix-it version because I feel Hope would have handled the situation(Landon using the letter from her dad for song lyrics) differently. Or If the writers could...
