You Can't Run From The Dark

{Part 40}

'(Author's Note: The last few chapters will switch back and forth between both POVs)

~Zaire~

 Love. The word kept repeating itself like an echo bouncing off of the emotional barriers in Zaire's mind as he soared through the sky. Love. That emotion was so weighted, he wasn't sure that he had the ability to keep them both afloat, but somehow he managed. The taste of it directed at him was maddeningly troublesome. He didn't deserve love. Did anyone, really? It was such a dangerous thing - to love, or be loved. Blind servitude and devotion was easier to contemplate. But the dense, sticky flavor of love reminded him of honey, and the depth of it made him feel like he could drown in it. It was akin to what he imagined struggling in quicksand would be like. He couldn't extricate it from his senses, and it was overwhelming. 

Telling her what he had written in that letter decades ago should have shattered her, or at the very least, it should have shown her how weak he actually was. Instead, his vulnerability had ignited something inside her that he couldn't hope to defend against. A fool, indeed. He had overstepped a precarious line, and there was no backtracking allowed. Zaire wasn't capable of love, despite his possessiveness over her, or his wicked attachment. In some way, it seemed that she was aware that her feelings couldn't possibly be reciprocated, and she was relieved that he had brushed it aside and ignored it. She was irritatingly astute for that. A part of him wanted to prove her wrong, if only to give her a little shock, though he knew that was infantile and it wouldn't be genuine. 

As his feet hit the ground in front of the fortress walls, he enjoyed how she clung to him a moment longer than necessary, before she slid out of his arms. He almost hauled her back into them, crushing her against his chest, but he shook off the impulse and led her toward the sentries who were posted at the gilded gate. Both sentries bowed their heads and moved to open it, without him needing to demand it this time. Zaire could taste the little doll's awe and trepidation as they passed through. It was a different envoy on the other side of the gate than when he visited last, and Zaire halted before the Fae.

"Sh-shall I inform the sovereignty that you wish for a symposium?" 

Zaire shook his head and replied, "I'm not here to speak to the sovereignty. This visit is for leisure."

The envoy schooled their suspicion and nodded awkwardly, though their limbs twitched, as if they were eager to take off to warn the envoys at the palace, regardless of Zaire's stated intentions for entering the royal courtyard. Zaire steered his mate down the path that he had taken last time, guiding her toward the area that he had spotted the little Fae. The girl had been ducking and weaving around the area between the residents' housing and the barracks, so it could be assumed that she was the child of a member of the royal guard. The worst case scenario was that she was an illegitimate daughter of Roan's, though he discounted that possibility as soon as the idea formed. Roan had not been rumored to have had any consorts since his marriage to the Solitary, despite his status as a whole Fae with no fated mate. He was clearly under some sort of spell, completely smitten with his false Queen, and despite the fact that he would not be sickened by taking a mistress, the male allegedly had not. Zaire found it to be a likely truth. The Queen, however, was rumored to have several males on retainer, though whether the gossip held any merit was debatable. Zaire wouldn't put it past her. She was as slimy as one could be. 

Zaire flicked a glance back at his mate, and found her studying her surroundings with wide eyes. She had not been able to see this place when she was imprisoned here, and she was clearly committing every inch of the grounds to memory.