Opening Day

Chapter 14: Crunch

Officer Stewart Mooney took a sip of his hot coco as he turned the steering wheel, making a right turn down Rose Street in his squad car. He thought he'd take a spin around Dreamland Theater, a big premiere could have the potential to get a little rowdy, so he just wanted to stop by and make sure everyone was okay. He wondered if Jonesy and Max would be there.

Back in junior high, Stewart was a shy, quiet kid, an easy target for bullies and the like. He liked to read books about far away lands, draw, and he was becoming a skilled baker by the age of thirteen. He was also a late bloomer, he wouldn't get his growth spurt until the summer heading into ninth grade. By the end of high school he was on the baseball team, a mathlete, and vice president of the student council. All of that was well and good, his parents were proud, he was proud, but the greatest accomplishment of his entire school career, in his own opinion, was the time he saved Jonesy and Max's lives in seventh grade.

The duo was playing their own made up game, sometimes called "Fucky Ball" sometimes it was called "Jaxsey Ball," either way, it revolved around throwing rocks at each other, climbing things, wedgies, punching, purple nurples, strategically timed farts, obstacles, dares, and of course, chasing each other all over the neighborhood. One day Stewart was sitting on his porch, pretending to read a book, but actually watching the two of them rough house and scream with joy and excitement, desperately wishing he could join in and play their insane game that made no sense. Jonesy had creamed Max with a dirt clod, so, going by the rules, Max now had to give Jonesy a piggyback ride on a skateboard. They both donned their helmets, headbutted several times while they guffawed like idiots, before Max had Jonesy hop on his back. He set up the skateboard and took a running leap onto it, giving them significant momentum as they headed down their sloping street.

That's when Stewart noticed the oncoming car. The older man at the wheel was fully distracted by the four hefty dogs riding in the backseat. He was on a collision course with Jonesy and Max! Without even thinking, Stewart sprung into action, running at top speed towards them until he was running directly next to them. The two were laughing and whooping it up, when they both turned their heads to notice Stewart. In an instant he launched himself at Max's body, the three of them tumbling to the nearest lawn. Jonesy and Max were pissed at the sudden attack and interruption of Assbutt Ball. Max wrapped his fist in the collar of Stewart's shirt, the other fist ready to pummel a nerd. At nearly the same instant, the oncoming car drove over the innocent skateboard with a dramatic CRUNCH and never once slowed down. Jonesy and Max looked in astonishment at the car as it passed.

"Dude!" Jonesy and Max said in unison at each other, both realizing how close they had come to brutal injury, or even death.

Max smoothed out Stewart's shirt, stood up and extended a hand, Jonesy followed suit. Stewart took both of their hands and was yanked onto his feet.

"You saved our lives, dude!" Jonesy slapped him on the back.

"Holy shit dude, I was gonna bash you! I thought you worked for the UFOs I've been taunting at night." Max laughed, Jonesy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at Max with a smirk on her face.

"You're Stewie, right?" Jonesy asked.

Stewart was absolutely gobsmacked that she knew his name. He didn't think anyone even knew he existed. "It's S-Stewart. Stewart Mooney."

"Oh, shit! Aren't you the kid who set the teacher's lounge on fire?"

Stewart liked fire.

"It...was an accident...sorta." He said the last part quietly.

Max winked at Jonesy and nudged her with his elbow.

"Well, you fuckin' rule, dude!" Jonesy slapped him on the back again, causing him to trip forward. He flapped his arms to steady himself, but Max grabbed him by the back of his shirt and set him straight.