The One With Alison

The One with the East German Laundry Detergent: Part 2

"Where are they? Where are they?" I heard Chandler ask Phoebe as they waited for Tony and Janice as I sat in the olive green chair doing a light sketch, surprisingly not anything fashion related. Chandler had stopped by my apartment after he got back from Ross' to ask if I would be emotional support for him, it took the panicked man half an hour to convince me but here I am. "Yep this is nice. We never do anything just the two of us, plus Ali." Phoebe said clearly not worried like the brunette man next to her. Chandler placed his hands on his hips, "That's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies." Stress and panic was evident in his tone but Phoebe was more grossed out about what he said than how he said that. Then the door to Central Perk opened and the Janice walked in and Phoebe motioned to me that she was going to the counter. I got up from the arm chair, grabbing my empty mug and made my way towards the counter. "Hey Gunther, can I get another chai tea?" I asked the bleach blonde man. "Hey Janice." Chandler said his hellos to his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.

"Oh my God. I am so glad you called me. "Janice made her way to the orange couch. Two shopping bags in tow. "Here you go Ali." Gunther placed a yellow mug down in front of me and and espresso in front of Phoebe. I gave him a smile and tossed a few bucks into the tip jar. "I had the most supremely awful day." The curly haired woman sat down as she talked to Chandler, not noticing the face he made as he looked at the two of us. "Hey, that's not good." I just sipped my tea as the blonde next to me shook her head. "Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?" Chandler had moved to sit next to Janice. "Oh we got those proofs back from the photoshoot. You know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyways the pretty much sucked." Janice complained as Tony showed up.

"Good luck Pheebs." I whispered to her as she stood up to talk to her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Chandler had looked over in our direction again, looking from the couple standing next to me then to me. I had my mug up near my face, wiggling my eyebrows before taking another sip of tea as Phoebe easily broke up with Tony. The two hugged before the raven haired male left the café leaving Chandler looking dumbfound. "Well done Pheebs." The two of us gently hi-fived as Chandler nearly shouted "What!" Which caught Janice's attention. "We're gonna be here a while Pheebs, I can feel it." The blonde nodded in agreement as she took a sip of her espresso. "And Chan just downed his espresso in one shot."

"He did!?!" The two of us looked at each other in shock. "Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Uhhh, more latte??"

"Uhhh, no. No, I'm-I'm still working on mine." Janice let out a nasally laugh as Chandler walked over to us at the counter.

"That's it?" The brunette man grumbled. "Yeah it was really hard." Phoebe admitted even though she made it look effortless which caused me to snort a laugh. Said laugh made Chandler send a glare at me before looking back at Phoebe. "Oh, yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal."

"Okay, you weren't there." The blonde next to me snipped and Chandler got his second espresso.

~~~~~~~~

"Chan, you can do this. Just like pulling off a band-aid." I encouraged our nervous friend. "Oh my God, I was gonna say that. We must be on the same wave-length." Phoebe told me, "Anyways, just do it really fast and then the wound is exposed."

"Maybe not the same wave-length. But Chandler the longer you but this off the more difficult it's going to get." Then the brunette man when back over to Janice, the coffee table had five or six espresso cups on it at this point. "We should have stopped him after the second espresso Pheebs, anymore and he'll start vibrating like The Flash." In mere moments the look on Janice's face dropped, she readjusted herself on the couch before fanning her face to stop tears.

I was holding my head in my hands to keep myself from hitting my head on the counter. Chandler was now up to ten, yes ten, cups of espresso. The man was going to hit warp speed soon if he keeps it going. Phoebe started reading a magazine at this point. "How is it it took you two minutes, and it's been over an hour and Chandler is still over there?" I groaned and the blond next to me shrugged her shoulders. "Ow!"

"OH MY GOD!" Chandler nearly shouted causing Phoebe and I to look at him. Janice had grabbed her bag while holding her eye and walked to the restroom and Chandler dug his head in-between the couch cushion and the arm of the couch before effortlessly jumping over the back of the couch. "I hit her in the eye" The hyper brunette waved his arms like a mad man. "I hit her in the eye." The two of us looked at him in shock. "This is the worst break up in the history of the world." Chandler ran his hand through his hair before grabbing Phoebes cup out of her hands and down the drink. "Okay, how many of those have you had?" Phoebe was slightly concerned. "Oh, I don't know. A million." Eleven, he's now had eleven... The brunette walked away and Phoebe went after him.

"Chandler, just.... Easy, easy. Go to, go to your happy place." Phoebe counseled before she started singing. Chandler just stared at her for a second before saying he was fine. The two talked for a second before Phoebe walked over to Janice who just walked out of the restroom. The two women talked for a moment before hugging, Janice looked over at Chandler with a smile before leaving and the man had the most bewildered look on his face. I shook my head before grabbing my card from my wallet. "Gunther, can you put all his espresso's on my tab?"

"You sure bout this Ali?" The bleach blonde asked me. "Yeah, he'll owe me coffee for like a month after this." Gunther then took my card and walked over to the register.

~~~~~~~~

I was sitting back in the olive green arm chair at this point. Rachel and Ross had walked in with some pink laundry as Rachel went and got an ice pack for Ross. "Ross what did you do?" I asked as Phoebe went through Rachels laundry. "I uh, I hit my head on a dryer door." Ross stuttered as his face turned a light pink color. Rachel came back with the ice pack and sat next to Ross on the couch, she holding said ice pack to the top of his head. "Oh, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Yeah."

"What a neat idea. All your clothes match." The three of us just looked at Phoebe. "I'm gonna do this." Then an extremally happy Monica and Joey walked into Central Perk. "Hi!"

"Hey, how did it go?" Phoebe asked the two. "Excellent." Joey exclaimed. "We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves." The smile on Monica's face as she said that as almost concerning. "What a beautiful story." Ross was now holding the ice pack before Rachel took over again. "Hey, I'm fine by the way." The dark haired man said while pointing to his head, concern then showed up on Monica and Joey's faces. "Hey where's Chandler?" Rachel asked realizing one from our group was missing. I looked down at my watch before pointing at the door. "He should be going by at warp speed in three... two... one."

"I'M FREE! I'M FREE!!!"