Broken Inside

Monday

New Holy Trinity Fanfiction!! :D
Hope you guys like it, please let me know!

***

I lay over the side of the toilet, puking my guts out.
Sorry that's quite a horrific image to start with, isn't it?

My name is Hannah Maud Hart, I'm 17 and I spend most of my life in the Internet. My therapist is making me keep this diary. It's not like I want to do this, I think diaries are for tween girls, not depressed and suicidal teenagers who's therapist can't be bothered doing anything else to help them.

Anyway, back to the puking incident. My anxiety gets so bad sometimes that I throw up or faint. Today I did both.

Today was a stressful day. It's nearing the end of term and I'll be glad to leave this year behind. I hate school and school hates me. I have no friends and I'm fairly sure even the teachers bitch about me behind my back, and when they don't they feel sorry for me. Which is much worse.

I lifted myself up off of the bathroom floor and tried to fix my appearance. I adjusted my hair and my SnapBack and I washed my face, removing the smudged eyeliner that had left trails down my cheeks.

I went to my room, changed into my pyjamas and here I am now, writing in this stupid diary and hoping something good will come out of it. I've not kept a diary since I was like 10 so I don't know what to write...

I got tripped up in the hallway today by Joe Sugg and his friends Caspar and Jim and the rest of the straight cis white boy crew. It was humiliating, my books were everywhere and I really hurt my arm. I'm sure Mrs Fender, a physics teacher was giggling.

Mamrie came over and helped me up, but she soon went off with her own friends. I get it, I wouldn't want to be friends with me either. She's only nice to me because she's my cousin.

There was a new girl behind me in Biology today. Her name's Grace. I didn't want to turn around and speak to her but she seems nice enough, maybe we could be friends one day.

Pfft. Yeah me having a friend. Good one Hannah.