Broken Inside

Thursday

Nope I haven't updated this stupid diary in a while. It's a terrible idea, if I don't show Dr Morgan what is the point in it?

I saw Grace in the corridor today, she smiled at me and I could feel all the butterflies in my stomach. It was really weird. I want to be her friend so badly, but she seems to be making friends with Zoe Sugg, Joe Sugg's sister, so I'll never have a chance of speaking to her ever again.

Soon they'll tell her all about me and how much of a freak I am. The emo freak who hates everyone and has cuts all up her arms. The depressed dyke who gets beaten up by her father. The stupid fag who is a good target. I think you get the idea. I'm not saying that is not true but I'd rather that Grace didn't know about my private life. She doesn't want to deal with my problems.

I was thinking about her at dinner this evening. She's so pretty, she has dyed blonde hair with her dark brown roots showing - and she can pull it off..? She could look beautiful with any hair colour.

My dad caught me smiling. "What's so funny?" He snapped.

I immediately wiped the smile from my face. "Nothing. I was thinking of a joke." I looked at my plate to avoid his gaze.

He muttered something about me making my mum leave. This was a regular occurrence with Richard Hart, blaming me for making my mother leave. But she didn't leave because of me, she left because my dad beat her up almost every night. Sometimes I wonder why she didn't take me. Sure she promised to come back for me one day, but why didn't she take me away from him? It's been four years of hell and she still hasn't come back, I'm starting to lose hope.