My Ex Want To Marry Again

Part - XXXIII

Nov 13, 2023
18:47

Sasuke took a breath, and looked up in the ceiling. Though it went against his very nature, he knew that he had to be completely open now. "Because none of them were you. At first... at first I just wanted you to feel the same hurt I had felt. I went out, I got drunk, and I let whoever wanted to take me home."

Naruto felt his fingers clench at the thought, but he already knew this, and just sat and waited for Sasuke to continue. As much as it hurt to hear it, there was no going back in time to erase it.

"I knew that the press would be interested, so I slept with women to keep the reputational damage to the businesses to a minimum."

"But... you're gay. You're not bi. How did you even..."

Sasuke laughed bitterly. "If you're drunk enough, you can fool yourself into thinking just about anything. You close your eyes, and imagine that the person touching you is the person you want, not the person that's actually there. It's not actually that hard."

Naruto felt the bile rising up in his throat at the mental images that Sasuke's words evoked, but just nodded.

"After I felt like I'd done enough in the public eye, I thought I'd try to find a real relationship. Or at least sex with a partner I didn't have to be nearly unconscious to be attracted to. I went to some gay clubs, and hooked up." This hadn't been in the press, but Naruto wasn't surprised. He was surprised at how much more it bothered him to think of Sasuke having sex with other men than having sex with women. But he had had sex with Yahiko, and actually cared about him, so he knew he really wasn't in a position to fight about it. The wine tasted sour in his mouth, so he left his glass untouched. He knew that they would have to get over what they had both done. But it would leave scars. Things would never go completely back to the way they had before.

"But you didn't find anyone you wanted to be serious with?"

Sasuke shook his head. "They didn't know me. They liked me for my looks, or for my money or connections. Same as always. I just felt... empty. And I got tired of waking up feeling like that. The alcohol at least dulled the pain, but the sex just made me feel even more alone. So after a while, I just dropped the sex and went straight to drinking."

Naruto looked at his friend. Sasuke had always seemed so invincible and self-sufficient. It seemed foreign to think of Sasuke unable to go on without him, as though he depended on Naruto as much as Naruto depended on him. It wasn't possible.

"Then Itachi woke up and kicked my ass."

"I've always loved that about Itachi."

They both snickered, remembering several instances from their They both snickered, remembering several instances from their childhood. Itachi had always been the level-headed one of the three. But they sobered as they thought about the more recent past again. Naruto sighed, "But I'm grateful to him. I didn't really believe what I was reading in the papers about you drinking and going off the deep end. It just... didn't seem possible."

Sasuke just looked at him, then looked down, not sure what to say. "When I saw your paintings, I felt the same way. I just had this sick, sinking feeling like 'oh, god, what have I done.' And at that point, I didn't even know that you hadn't cheated. You've just... you've always been the stronger one, in some ways. It didn't seem that you could really have -"

Sasuke trailed off, not really sure where to go with it.

"Well, I guess we're both just a couple of idiots. It's probably not normal to be the way we are," Naruto wasn't actually joking, but laughed a little anyway.

Sasuke smirked. "I don't think anyone has accused either of us of being normal in a very long time. If ever. Why would you think a relationship between us would be normal?"