A Murder in Mayberry

Part 5/3) Captives: The Spitfire Girls, Jane and Willa

I am tired of looking and talking to all these old people. Go get a girl, a pretty girl. I want a smart girl. A college girl. Athletic and smart. Get someone on a team. Get a brunette. This was the order given, given much like an order for a hamburger at a restaurant, given by the Collector to his good friend, Humble Booker. This was not the first time an order for something specific was given.

Charles is strange, thought Humble, and getting more strange. He orders people for his basement like they are in a catalog or on a menu. It was not his first time going to pick up a take-out order for the boss. At least this one will be something pretty to look at, in Humble's opinion, there had been no one pretty since Lauren. Those were some crazy days, the Lauren days, but Charles was all better now.

Although he would deny it, Charles did worry about what people thought of him. At the time, only two free people, other than himself, knew about his collection. Charles worried that if other people did know, that they would think he was obsessed with old folks. They would think he was weird. His youngest resident at the time, was the professor, and he was 47 years old. Not that old, but considering the other guest was nigh eighty, and he had somewhat cleaned house in the past year, the guests in the funhouse were getting downright geriatric. Things were eerily quiet downstairs. Charles decided to go hunting, but this time send Humble.

It was time to liven the place up. He wanted someone young, full of life, who would be missed by all. Charles wanted someone hip and cool. That is what they called it, right? Hip and cool. Yes, he wanted someone hip and cool because he was still hip and cool. And besides, no more slaying and experimenting for now, he was done with that. It left him exhausted and anxiety ridden, but good news, his new medication seemed to be helping with that. Charles was thinking a lot clearer now. Time to beef up his collection again. New medication meant, hopefully this time, the collection would remain intact.

Charles gave Humble specific parameters. You can shop in North Carolina, but not too close to home. Go check out the Research Triangle Area, big schools there, should be pretty easy to pick up a girl there. There are a multitude of pretty college girls there was Charles's thinking.

Not so easy an undertaking. Humble did not exactly blend in with the college scene, and girls today seemed hyper alert to strangers on campus, even strangers who just needed a little help with directions. Thank you Ted Bundy and terrorists, thought Charles.

"We'll have to switch our tactics," said Charles to Humble. "Be a little more current with the times. We'll go shopping online."

And, that is what they did. This time they decided to shop at a smaller college. Less security and less cameras and just as pretty girls. They decided to look for an athlete, someone fit. After searching what Charles called the world wide web, they settled on a tennis team from Pinehurst University near Fayetteville, a three hour drive from Mount Airy. They narrowed it down to five girls on the tennis team (I like their tan legs said Charles and Humble agreed) and spent the next few weeks researching the girls and finding out all they could about them so they could make their decision. They had a routine - meet for drinks at Charles's house after work, break out the computer, and research. What fun. They were hip and cool and shopping online.

"Whatever are you boys doing in there?" asked Beatrice. "Ya'll sound like a bunch of giddy girls," she asked.

And Humble answered, "Just watching a funny movie on HBO."

"Just shopping for girlfriends," said Charles.

This time the hunt is as much fun as the actual catch, thought Humble. Charles was excited about knowing that someone out there was about to become his, and they didn't even know it yet. Somebody's mommy and daddy were going to be so sad. That is how they decided. They narrowed it down to three girls, all who had both parents still living and who were still married to each other.

"Go get our girl," said Charles.

Humble went and got a girl. He got two.

"It got messy," he explained to Charles. "They put up a fight. I had to get them both or kill them both. I almost had to abort the mission."

Charles looked in the trunk. "You got Willa and Jane. Why both of them?"

"Easier, at the time. They wouldn't listen. Willa kicked me in the balls."

"No Cup?" asked Charles.

"Always. Gotta protect the family jewels." He patted the family jewels. "Jane took a swing at me with her racket. Think I broke her nose. I stuffed her in the trunk, and Willa jumped on my back. Don't understand it at all, she coulda got away, but she came back. Surprised me."

"Friends," said Charles, "Good friends."

"She wouldn't stop until I threatened the other with a tire wrench. So I took them both. Besides, this way you get to pick in person," Humble added, "And, I was hoping you'd let me have the other one. For myself. I'll take the leftover."

Charles thought about this a minute. "Any witnesses?"

"Yeah," said Humble, "but no worries, he's in the back seat, under the tarp."

Charles looked and raised the tarp. "Oh how sad, I believe that's John Daniel, Willa's boyfriend. Though, I can't be sure since most of his face is gone."

"It's him," said Humble. "Son of a bitch thought he was gonna be a hero."

"Dead hero," said Charles. "His mom and dad will be upset he's gone."

"What do you want me to do with him?" asked Humble who knew Charles liked to get creative with a dead body.

"Put him in with the girls for now," said Charles. "For the time being. He'll be a reminder, a sad little reminder, of who is in charge here. And a reminder to not put up a fight, or things will end badly."