Jim Pickens Wild Zombie Adventures

chapter 2

      SHREKS POV

I woke up alone in an alley, scared and angry. I briefly remember what happened the other night. Jim had choked me, but I'm not sure how I got here. To be honest, I'm surprised no zombies came to get me last night, but I guess the smell of the trash was stronger than the smell of ogre flesh. Or maybe because I'm an ogre, I'm just too ugly for them and I'm immune to zombies! I walked down the empty streets somberly, wondering where to go next. Suddenly, I stumbled across a body holding a bloody baseball bat. I grabbed it when I realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten in almost a full day after all.

I stumbled across a grocery store, but the door was locked, so I smashed one of the windows open and crawled in, immediately greeted with the smell of cookies and sadness. There was someone sobbing behind the checkout counter, and I walked over, holding my baseball bat firmly.

I heard the small guy whispering to himself, "Everybody's dead. Everybody's dead. Everybodys gone. Everybodys gone. The demons have come. The demons have come. They're going to find me. They're going to find me. There's no one left. There's no one-"

"I'm here," I said, calmly. The man sat up, trembling and still curled up in a ball. I could tell he was terrified. "Wh-Where did you come from?" He screamed, and I could hear the shakiness in his voice. "Please spare me, green man!" He begged, proceeding to get down on his knees.

"Hey now, we don't have to get racist, but I suppose I will, under one condition" I compromised, hatching a plan.

"Wh-What is it?" He asked, tears streaming down his greasy face.

"Join my gang, I'm starting one and I need some recruits," I ordered, with a grin.

"If you spare me, sir then I will gladly," He agreed. I nodded my head and gave him a hand to let him up. First of all, let's raid this store." Grab anything you can carry that'll last a while.

"Okay, green man. My name is Ed, by the way." He informed me.

"Well, your new name is Blaze, it's more badass. My name is Shrek."

"...Shrek? That's quite an unusual name, don't you think?" Blaze asked.

"...Have you seriously never heard of me? There are literal movies made about me!" I asked, angry that he had no idea who I was.

"Nope!" He replied. I scoffed in disbelief and disgust that people like him existed in our world. If this wasn't the apocalypse, I'd totally ditch him, but my options are limited now since most of the world is dead already. He shoved cans of baked beans and frozen fruit and meat into bags. I grabbed bags of pop rocks because I saw on wikiHow that you could make bombs out of them, then I grabbed big pints of water and Mountain Dew.

Once we grabbed everything we could, we walked into the parking lot.

"Do you have a car we can use?" I asked.

"Nope. I walk here every day." He admitted.

"Let's drive that big monster truck!" I ran over to it and dumped our food into the trunk.

"How are we gonna get inside it?" He asked, throwing the bags of food into the trunk and then pushing up his glasses. I pointed to the bloody baseball bat in my hand with a smirk. "You might want to take a step back for this one!" I exclaimed, smashing open the window and unlocking the car from the inside.

"Get in, loser." I joked, quoting mean girls as I jumped into the driver's seat. As soon as he got in, I cranked up the loud engine and drove fast down the middle of the road.

"Do you not know any driving rules?" Blaze screamed, holding onto the seat, tightly.

"I'm an ogre, why would I need to know how?" I responded. Blaze didn't say anything but only shook his head in fear.

"So, where is this gang hideout of yours? He asked, trying to sound casual, but still seeming tense.

"I don't have one, yet, I'm only starting a gang now. Any suggestions of places?" I asked.

"Well... I've always wanted to go to the Goth's house." He offered.

"Alright. The Goths it is."

When we got there, I expected it to be completely deserted, but when we got in, we saw Mortimer sitting in the living room eating a cupcake and crying.

"What's up, homie?" I asked, startling Mortimer. He nearly jumped out of his own skin from shock and fear.

"Why are you in my house, Shrek? Is that god-forsaken man Jim Pickens here, too?" He asked, his voice shaky.

"No, Jim isn't here, don't worry. We were wondering if you want to join my gang." I asked confidently and sat on the couch.

"I suppose if it means you won't kill me." Mortimer agreed.

Suddenly, Vlad appeared and came inside. "What is poppin' dawg? I've learned how the young'ns speak and now I'm cool with the kids. I'd like to join your gang, yo!" Vlad said while doing Fortnite dances.

"Why not." I agreed.

"That's funky fresh, yo!" He said.

"Wait, how did you know we were making a gang, Vlad?" Blaze asked.

"...I um, may have planted bugs on you, Shrek," Vlad admitted.

"What?! Why?" I yelled, flexing my muscles from anger. I stood up ready to fight him.

"It's just that... I get lonely. You have so much fun and you're so interesting! I just want to be friends with you but it's so hard to do that when you're an old man like me!" He confessed, tears falling down his wrinkled face.

"Hey, it's alright. I forgive you, you can still be part of the gang." I cautiously walked toward him and gave him a big hug.

"So, I heard that there are movies about you Shrek? I'd like to watch them." Blaze said.

"Okay, let's watch them, then!" I agreed, energetically jumping onto the couch with them. We watched them all and Vlad even cried at the end. You wouldn't know it until you know Vlad, but he's a highly emotional person. Once they were all over, it was dark outside.

"What should our first mission be as a gang?" I asked the others.

"Well... I'd like to find my wife, maybe. I want her to join the gang, I just want to see her again and know she's safe if I can do that..." Mortimer offered.

"Oh, I know exactly where she is..." I said, with a grin on my face.

(okay guys i hope you liked the first 2 chapters i know this one was shorter but the next one is about to be fire so stay tuned)