Blue Plague, Red Redemption

Chapter 5: Alessandra Silva

 There was an intense squeezing inside of Ali's abdomen. The discomfort shot up through her chest and throat and she quickly shifted over the side of her bed as she threw up onto the floor. She hadn't had dinner the night before and not much came out. The images of what had happened to her hours earlier brought back the contractions in her stomach, but there was nothing more to give and Ali went into dry-heaves, panting in the moments in between, trying to catch her breath, overwhelmed by her disgust and anxiety.

When it subsided, Ali curled up into the fetal position and cried quietly, her whole body having little convulsions. She had no idea how long this went on--minutes, an hour? When it stopped, she laid there on her back, staring at the ceiling, empty, almost catatonic, without thought or sensation.

After an hour of breathing and laying there, she found the will to sit up, fully numb now. She walked over to the bathroom in a lifeless stupor, took hold of a towel and proceeded to wipe down the bits of vomit from the floor. Standing over her bed for a minute, towel in hand, she exhaled, not realizing she was holding her breath. She closed her eyes, unsure what to do next, and instinctively took several halting steps into the bathroom again, going into the shower this time. A thick fog was all around and through her as she slowly dried herself off and with great effort managed herself dressed, collapsing into the chair of her little desk when she was done, exhausted.

Mindlessly, she stared at the digital clock on her desk, 6:30 am. The thoughts were coming now. A few times the images from the night before came to her and she pushed them back down with a shudder. No, she can't be incapacitated again, she won't be, not now. Anger was now arising within her, quickly turning into fury. Yes, exactly what she needed. How many more women had he done this to, or would again? Wei needed to be stopped. But how? A pang of anxiety shot up as she thought about the doctor, Parker, Wei's paternal friend. Could she trust him? Could she trust anyone on this ship? Some of them had served with Wei for years, including the captain. The only thing the people at the bar would have noticed was a nice conversation between two young people who then strolled off together. Would anyone believe that Wei assaulted her? Raped...? The word was painful to think. She felt a stabbing in her heart as tears welled up in her eyes, rocking slowly with shallow gasping breaths.

She felt alone. Abandoned by the world. Ali tensed up her arms and legs and forced herself to stand, trying to block out the thoughts in the back of her mind, thoughts about how stupid and naive she was for not being more careful with Wei, for letting her guard down and briefly trusting a man she knew to be a criminal. Her body writhed against the inner shame as if trying to crawl out of its skin. She breathed deeply and deliberately, thinking for a moment she might throw up once more, silently begging for her suffering to end.

Closing her eyes, she focused her mind on the image of the med bay, visualizing the upward slope of the ever-curving passageway from her room all the way there, not allowing herself to get distracted by her fear and shame.

"Perla," she spoke, her throat trembling. "Call Dr. Parker. Use the emergency code."

Ali couldn't remember the walk to the med bay, everything was hazy, the walls and the objects around her looking grayer and duller.

"Miss Silva?"

Unsure how long she'd been standing there, hunched over, Ali lifted her head up to see Dr. Parker, looking in her general direction with his forehead wrinkled as if asking a question.

"Early morning hangovers aren't exactly an emergency," he said with a hint of frustration.

"Uh, hi doctor. I..." she trailed off, trembling.

His whole demeanor changed seeing her on the verge of tears. "What's wrong, pumpkin?" asked Dr. Parker, softening up and crouching down a little to meet Ali's low, watery gaze, inches from her face. There was a long silence as he looked her in the eyes while she stared right through him at nothing in particular.