What was the heart but a spring, and the nerves but many chains, and the joints but many gears, all giving motion to her vocal cords repressing phonemes in the back of her throat, like a noose hugging her necklace? What were heart games but utterly wicked, meaningless masacres with easy ways to end them, and so much venomous designed so that they could not be won without feeling disgusted? What was sadder than Chiasa's thumb opening the camera installed on her phone and pressing: RECORD, right after her hands typed out onto the keyboard and eyes searched the screens, reversing the video of one of the cameras that hadn't been damaged by Niragi and replaying it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... Enough until she was completely sure she wasn't seeing things, because she hadn't lost much blood to be hallucinating the same image that many times consecutively, the truth behind the witch's death and their pointless fight.
Momoka...
"Why?" Chiasa exhaled, feeling incredibly stupid for never even trying to consider that sequence a possibility, a "of course, that should be it!" before the timer clocked fifteen minutes left to finish that nightmare, "What a twisted place." She turned off the lights that were on inside the control room and closed the door behind her.
She killed herself, she recalled, watching the girl strike the knife into her chest, without hesitating to deal the final blow that brought all of them together, and yet, at the same time, against each other. It sort of had a dark, humorous tone underlying the whole situation and her body lifelessly ignored, like Chiasa had felt her own before she walked out of a bar and was faced with nothing, and no one, only Shibuya asleep on a undefined spell and the night sky full of red threads. Chiasa still thought about killing herself from time to time, though it was more of an intrusive thought that visited her mind when she was tired and a little lonely, but she no longer wished to leave; it were those moments, where the lobby was finally quiet as she arrived, that got her reprimanding herself for it; for caring every day one bit less about the worry of if Yumi had received the birthday cake she sent home and the apology card she couldn't get her but carried inside her jacket's pocket; for forgetting if Amaya liked green more than pink when Mira had offered her two bikini pieces to choose the day she was forced into The Beach; for never speaking more than good morning's with her father after her mom died; for denying her sisters to visit her grave because she thought it hurt her deeper than it did for them, even though they never got to meet her and her absence had them in Chiasa's arms asking questions without answers she wanted to give.
Instead, she rathered sometimes putting it all behind as it was easier than leaving it all to be faced, because sometimes the thought of crawling inside and slipping out of time sounded more appealing than most.
"Now, I know!" Usagi's voice was the first thing she heard, louder than the gasps of those she pushed out of her way that believed for a second it was death touching their shoulders and nudging their sides, "The reason why you've attacked Arisu even though he's the only one with an alibi... That's because you're the witch!"
Chiasa halted and looked down at her phone. And thought. How hard would she need to force herself to speak up? Would it be enough to pinch her forearm or would she have to dig a nail into the bullet hole in her leg? If she had to walk inside the ring, in between Arisu and Aguni, would they even care about the proof of the witch she had in her hands? Was she brave to step forward and forward after being part of their shadows all her stay at the hotel? Would they believe her before watching the video even if she was covered in blood and had her heart pulsating rhythmically in her windpipe?.
She stepped back, swallowing nervously and squeezing the device behind her back.
"Yes, I'm the witch." Aguni stood tall in the middle of the room, almost desperate for everyone to agree with him and his lies, yet when they didn't, he let go of his gun and turned towards a militant that pointed at him with his firearm willing and unsure, "Shoot me!" He screamed into his face.
"Aguni is not the witch!" Arisu stopped them, "This is a Ten of Hearts game, a game that toys with people's feelings! It's not a game where you win by killing Aguni!" He was beaten, but he brought himself to his feet despite the pain, "You're not the witch." His voice was softer, more private, more understanding.
Because he was sure Aguni wasn't it, just like Aguni himself knew so too and Chiasa had the evidence hidden in the teeth marks that bit the inside of her cheeks as she glanced at them.
"The one you killed was not Momoka," Arisu paused, briefly, to let it sink into every player left in the arena, "It was Hatter."
A hum of whispers broke the silence apart.
"I found out after I saw your eyes." Chiasa's lips parted slightly, exhaling all the retained air she had been holding until her lungs stung and those eight words coming out of Arisu's mouth were too alike to Yumi's low mumble at the other side of her bedroom's closed door, bringing her back to earth when she was getting too far from it, from her body trembling and the guilt of not talking to her sisters about what happened after work and realizing they discovered it by themselves as the video of it went viral, "It was as if you had given up all hope. Those eyes, it were the same as mine that day, those eyes after I killed my friends."
Chiasa hadn't noticed the tears that were rolling down her face until she hiccuped and she had to audibly gasp to breathe in. Her knees almost gave in as she bent over and grabbed them hard, attempting to hold it together and not let the panic win her. She needed to inhale and exhale, deep and pronounced, calmly and distancing herself from the memories, but she couldn't; her fingers started tapping her skin as shakily as her body began to jerk, her grip loosening up in a blink.
"You weren't in conflict with Hatter at all, you wanted to make sure that people like Niragi didn't go on a rampage." Arisu spoke, "For some reason, you couldn't forgive Hatter for what he did, you wanted to stop Hatter and his crazy ways, you wanted your best friend to regain his senses."
Someone's hand had caught her bicep, but it hadn't been fast enough to avoid Chiasa to end up on the floor, sitting on her feet insteps. Her chest went up and down, and Amaya's sweet voice pleaded her to come back to her senses, but she wasn't there. Chiasa knew her youngest sister wasn't truly there, yet she couldn't help to look over her shoulder just to be sure, just to really be sure she wasn't at home, still locked inside her room refusing to let her little girls see how much she had been hurt.
Chiasa struggled to breathe correctly, but even half conscious, she noticed Usagi's eyes finding hers, wild and scared. Something bubbled up her throat.
"You killed your friend, and so you wanted to kill everyone at The Beach, because they were the ones who made him go crazy." Arisu continued talking.
And right as all players realized of what he meant, Chiasa threw up immediately.
"I'm the witch!" Aguni's tone became louder and demanding, confident and begging, "You guys want to kill me, right?"
No one knew what to do exactly, though once he took matters into his own hands, everyone went for his neck.
In those seconds she found some type of peace in the middle of their war cries, Chiasa crawled towards a corner and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling like a little kid who just wanted everything to
s
t
o
p .
YOU ARE READING
FREEFALL, hikari kuina
FanfictionNO TWO PEOPLE CAN KNOW THE SUN THE SAME WAY. . . ˗ˏˋ Chiasa was aware there were as many gods as many stars, that someone could have as many dreams as many wishes and could tell many lies as many monsters could hide inside the same closet, that livi...
