Distance has no Measure

Bliss from your Kiss ♡

....It hurt knowing after you moved to be near me that you did this. She thought.

It all started when she moved away and he tagged along because they were madly in love.

××××

I'm living in North Carolina now and it's a mess without Charles just a few months ago and I was kissing him goodbye and telling him I would never forget him.

But to my surprise a few months after I move away and sharing a home with family friends to find out i'm a few months pregnant by Charles.

 It all began when I lost my virginity to him the week before I moved away, we had it planned for the longest time just for our 4 years together celebration. He made it so special and somewhat painless as if I would break at any given moment but what we forgot something so small and simple...Protection.

+++++

*months later*

I'm lying on my bed listening to EMD music which has helped me calm my nerves after speaking to Charles on the phone and telling him about our little bundle we made a few months back.

He was very understanding about it, surprisingly, he claimed that he knew all along and that he meant to do it so we would always be bound to each other.

and I quote," Baby, I didn't know if you would stay with me after you left, so I did what I had to just for you to see how much I love you."

I simply hung up and cried.

It's not that I don't love him but I can't handle a child I'm starting my freshman year in College and I can't afford to care for a baby but I have no choice because I want to be there  for my boy or girl.

So here I am listening to Mr. Suicide Sheep on Youtube while thinking of a way to balance out my odds before Charles comes to visit for the 6 month sonogram to find out the gender next week.

I've decided on asking him to move in and we can find an apartment together and hopefully he loves me enough to care for our child while I study.

It's like all this made me so unsure of his love for me, causing me to think of it as an obsession.