all those nightmares

Chapter Two

A salty taste was developing in my mouth & I noticed that my hands were aching. Blinking a few times, I slowly retreated from my horrifing thoughts. My heart started to thaw, my blood warmed up to its original temperature & my lungs were now expanding, allowing themselves to be filled with oxygen. Holy shit... why the fuck didn't I recognize the name of the park! I can't go. No fucking way. To revisit the place where my mom was literally slautered! Noooo sir, not to-fucking-day, or any other fucking day for that matter. My thoughts were interrupted when I again noticed the taste in my mouth & the pain in my hands. Looking down, I saw that my knuckles were white as snow, so I quickly released the death grip I had placed on my steering wheel. I then glanced up to my reflection, seeing the same dead blue eyes with tears falling out of them, explaining the taste in my mouth. I wiped them away feeling annoyed. I hated crying. It was easily the worst function of the human body. OH BOO HOO POOR FUCKING LYDIA CANT GO TO A FUCKING PARTY BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO. My sub-concious screamed, she was always screaming & shaking her head at me showing no sympathy at all. Rolling my eyes I simply decided to talk to my dad about it when I got home. My dad always gave really good advice. Although he had been distant lately I suspected it was because of the time of year. July to sempteber was dreadful for everyone really. Everyone was usually a little more "on edge" then usual. I let out a huff, calming myself down completly & headed home.

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"Daaaaaaad, I'm home!" I called out. No answer. I went to check his bedroom, study & finally the garage. Not home. Great. I decided I would stick to my original plans & go over to Siggy's. Chances are she wouldn't even know about the party & I could always tell Tom I started feeling sick. Satisfied with my plan, I hopped in the shower quickly to rinse off all the sweat from today. After grabbing some things & a snack, I sped off down the street. I sang lightly to Lana Del Rey until I finally arrived at Siggy's. I shouldn't say finally, she only lives 10 minutes by car & 20 minutes by foot. I got out & looked at the bungalow styled home. A rich navy blue colour with white shutters. A white door with two big windows on either side. A cobble stone path that led up to the door, lined with red & white roses. I loved it here. It radiated happiness & warmth. Not bothering to knock, I walked in and yelled "I'm homeee!" Siggy's mom Helga came bounding to the door wrapping me in a warm embrace. Pulling back to ask how I was doing in her thick swedish accent. I told her my perfectly rehearsed line & was rewarded with a smile that didn't touch her eyes. She's known me my whole life & knew it was an act. However I was grateful she didn't press for more information. I went upstaires to find Siggy on her bed, her nails clicking on the keys to her laptop. Looking up she smiled, "lyd-i-fuckin-a, did ya get fucked yet like I suggested?" "Ohh yeah!, chose the upside down option by the way" winking at her. Pulling my stuff from my bag, "Ouuuuu! Now this" Siggy said "is some wam bam thank you mam material!" She was holding my lepoard print corset with red lace peeking out at the top & bottom. WEAR IT TO THE PARTY TONIGHT FOR TOM, my sub-concious blurted out. I felt my heart leap out of my chest at the thrill of seeing his eyes popping out. However it was quickly replaced by what fear? No not fear, what.... guilt? Yeah guilt. Why the fuck was I feeling guilty? YOU THINK ITS DISRESPECTFUL DUMBASS, my sub- concious said giving me a "what the fuck is wrong with you" look. I ignored her & my wandering thoughts. Turning my attention back to Siggy but once I saw her face a wave of concern washed over me. "What's that look for siggs?" I asked, now more curious then concerned. "Well...... uhm........." looking down knotting her fingers in her lap, "Spit it out, what's wrong?" I pressed. Looking up at me "Promise you won't get mad?" she asked. I let out an annoyed grunt "For fuck sakes Siggy your being silly!" "I know I know, I'm sorry!" She giggled & smiled a smile that didn't touch her eyes. Just like Helga's. In that moment I knew something was wrong. My heart started hammering against my ribcage. I tried to keep the stress & concern itched into my face under control, as I waited for her to tell me. When she did I realized that it was the first time I had been totally blind-sided since I found my moms body.

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Hello to all the amazing people that have choosen to read the beginning of my story! I'm excited but nervous about continuing with it. I would really love some feedback so please comment & like with suggestions, things that you like, questions etc. I will be putting an authors note every second chapter. I also will follow anyone back that follows me because I love reading aswell as writing! Please comment & like! This story has only just gotten started, the twists & turns awaiting are more shockingly scary then anything you can predict! Also I will do my best to update the story everyday or every other day! So don't be a ghost reader :) thank you all again so much & I can't wait to take you all on this adventure.

This is my first story so be as kind as you can with any suggestions aha, thanks!