Love Or Regret

OVERTHINKING

TANISHI'S POV

Our date went well in fact outstanding, it's been a week since we met but I can't get rid of our date memories. I never went on a date with anyone else because I didn't feel safe and the main thing was the fear of being caught by my dad.
These days everything feels good except our arguments. We fought again because he didn't add our images to his story. His reason is enough to explode my mind, "I don't want anyone to laugh over our pictures because you're way too perfect for me". His words waved back in my head which made my smile vanish from my face. I don't know why but I don't like when he feels inferior to me. I want him to feel superior and comfortable near me but he.... Ahhh!!
I banged my hand on the table and turned around to check the time. It's 11 p.m., time to sleep now... I just hope that my practical goes well. I'm nervous because it's my first practical but I know if I believe in myself, it'll be great.

I jumped on my bed and lay down covering the whole bed and my posture was, obviously too free and wild. I checked my phone before turning off the lamps. My eyes, ignore all the messages/notifications because they're searching for only one notification. Not a single message from that bastard, I opened his chat box but nothing. I dropped a message saying all the best for tomorrow's practical...

I closed my eyes, my phone was beside me. Lots of thought rushed my mind, not the positive ones. My overthinking is again activating after 6 months. Why do you text first after a fight? I think his anger and ego are also similar to my father's. What if you end up being like your mother? Crying.Adjusting.Shouting. I shook my head to avoid baseless thoughts or fear of being ended up like my parents. They love each other but flights are more frequent among them which somehow made me insecure. Because of their fights and ego battles, I never wanted to marry or be with someone but I can't control the spark of love. I never shared this fear because I know this may sound childish...
My phone lights up with a notification...
I clicked on it...
NAKSH🦕- You too and sorry...
I replied instantly, "You're late for sorry"
NAKSH🦕- Keep it... I'm not in the mood to argue.
I replied, "You jerk... What you wanna say I'm always in the mood to argue... I don't even want to argue but situations..."
NAKSH🦕- Excuses... Let's drop it...
I replied, "I'm not making excuses naksh yarr..."
I can feel my heart wrenched at the moment he said excuses. But I controlled myself.

NAKSH🦕- alright... I'm the one who's at fault, this time too. Bye... Good night...
I replied, "I never wanted to make you feel like that... If I did it somehow, sorry for that..."
I'm about to cry... But I... Controlled.

NAKSH🦕- I didn't mean that... I don't know what I mean right now. I've been waiting for your message for more than 5 hours but you didn't text...
I replied, "You can text me too... Is it a rule that I'll text you every time"
NAKSH- Hmm... Sorry for my mistake...
I replied, "It wasn't your... Let's end it"
NAKSH- what? Our relationship? Do you need time?

At this moment my heart is fucked up and my eyes start to shower endless tears... I don't know what's going on with him... Why's he reacting like this? I cool down myself because I can't see letters on my screen because of my blurry and teary eyes...

I replied, "I didn't mean that either... Is something wrong with you? Overthinking?"
NAKSH- I guess I didn't understand your words now... Na nothing wrong... Just leave me alone...
I replied, "But what happened Naksh.... if you're not feeling right with me, I'm okay with your decision"(hands shaking)
NAKSH- OKAY... BYE...

I can't process anything. Did we break up? What happened just now? I thought he would deny, the breakup thing...

I texted Kritika and Samridhi about the whole thing without wasting a minute. Meanwhile, I can't stop my tears...
KRITU- Chill!! First of all, stop crying... He'll come back and if he doesn't just leave it... Is he a jerk or something?