If Only (Y/n x Jin)

Chapter Two 💫

"Fine. But please text me when you get home."

You throw one last glance at Namjoon and head outside to get fresh air. Somehow you find your way back into the church where the wedding took place earlier.

(They really did the ceremony in a church. Such posers - neither of them is too religious!)

You finish your bottle of wine and throw it away into the trash can, almost breaking it into pieces.

(I should be careful. I am in a holy place, after all.)

Your thoughts drift to Namjoon and the wedding.

(I shouldn't have been so rude to Namjoon. He was trying to help. I was afraid that he'd find out my secret. I don't want anyone to know that I'm a pathetic friend with a crush. Jin and I were an exception. We were supposed to be the ones who proved that pure friendship between man and woman exists.)

You are the only person in the church. This, you come closer to the alter and sit in the front row.

"I don't know what one is supposed to do here but..."

"Dear God. It's Y/n/ I haven't come in a while - I was just too busy. A flimsy excuse, of course. But I'm here now. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm trying to do here. I'm just so heartbroken and sad. Today I had to witness the love of my life marry another woman. How am I supposed to recover from that?"

The tears roll down your cheeks with no way of stopping.

"How am I expected to look them in the eyes and still be friends when it hurts like hell?! Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't say "hell" in church."

You sigh and hide your face in your hands.

(If I had only made the right decisions, none of this would've happened! Life is so unfair!)

"What did I do to deserve this?! Why must I suffer so much, God? Why?!"

You cry loudly and unflatteringly when you notice someone sitting next to you. You turn your head and notice an older man who gives you a small encouraging smile.

(Oh, crap! How long was he here? I thought I was alone... This is embarrassing. I wish the ground would open under me at this moment.)

You avoid the stranger's gaze, but he keeps staring at you as if waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry. It's been a rough day for me."

"You're allowed to feel what you need to feel"

"I guess so."

You sit back, trying to calm your breath. The stranger sits in silence as if waiting patiently for you to continue.

(Does he expect me to share my troubles?)

"You can talk about it if you wish."

(He reads minds now too!)

You sigh, not really wanting to leave and go home where you will be all alone.

"Today the man I loved married another woman. She's great , of curse, but... I love him too. The worst part is that I could've dated him, but I thought of us as friend and didn't want to ruin our friendship. And now, it's too late! I feel like such an idiot."

"Everyone feels this way sometimes."

You shrug, defeated, and wipe your tears.

"Perhaps, And what am I supposed to do now? Forget him? I don't want him out of my life. But how can I be friends with him when I want him so much? Why did God make me fall for him?"