Fallen Star - (Kyle Broflovski X Reader)

Chapter 10: Oh Hamburgers (Kyle)

Is Y/N a Whole Foods disguised as a beautiful girl? That's the only explanation Kyle can think of as to why so many of his South Park friends are suddenly appearing back in his life after he met her. He knows it's probably all a big coincidence, but even if it is true, he can't blame them. She has a magnetism around her that draws people in, one he himself fell prey to earlier that day. He knew it was impossible to control himself when he's around her, yet did it anyway. But... she didn't pull away when he asked her not to stop what she was doing, and that single thought fills him with an inexplicable feeling of hope that he hasn't felt since he started killing.

However, he has no room in his head to think about these feelings right now , instead his mind is darting between asking what the hell Butters is doing here, or how the hell Y/N seems to know him. Deciding that the first question was less awkward to put forward, he does, and Butters sighs.

"Well, I was just telling Y/N over here that my boyfriend and I broke up, so I came here for a fresh start."

This didn't really come as a shock to Kyle. He had sort of always assumed that Butters wasn't the straightest guy, especially when he got sent to that conversion camp and gave an impassioned speech about bi-curiosity that would rival one of Kyle's own.

"Ex-boyfriend in South Park? Anyone I would know?"

"You sure would know him, it was Eric!"

"E-Eric Cartman?"

This did come as a shock. It came like a slap in the face actually. Kyle didn't even know they were dating, much less that they'd broken up. Sure, he'd lost contact with most of South Park years ago when he moved, but this was big news, and he feels like it still should've reached him somehow. Even if someone like Ike had to pigeon carry it over.

The revelation of his mortal enemy's recent love life stuns Kyle into disturbed silence, so Y/N clears her throat and smiles at Butters.

"Well Butters, it's a pleasure to meet you. We should have lunch together sometime."

"Going out with some friends sounds a helluva lot better than eating a ham & cheese sandwich at my desk, how about today? " he asks, and Y/N nods, before dragging a still shocked Kyle away to his office, setting him down in his desk chair and leaving him to rethink his life choices at how Eric Fucking Cartman has had more romantic experiences than him.

...

Sienna's was Y/N's choice, the familiar ambience relaxing a tense Kyle. The three of them are huddled together in a booth overcrowded with food, while Butters catches his friend up on all the things that went on in South Park in his 7 year absence.

"Tweek and Craig are still going strong. I actually think they'll be engaged soon, if Tweek can stay still long enough for Craig to ask. Oh, and Clyde..."

Kyle absent-mindedly nods along to what Butters is saying, wondering when he's gonna get to Cartman. Sure, it's nice to hear what his old friends were up to, but he can't deny that the only thing he wants to know is whether or not his former adversary's life has gone down the shitter like he expected. He knows he shouldn't compare or whatever, but the verification that years of tormenting had come back to bite Cartman in the ass is something Kyle didn't realize he needed until his name was mentioned. Realizing that Butters could talk about Tolkien and Nicole's kids for hours, he tries to delicately plant the idea of talking about his ex into his mind, but accidentally drops it like a bomb.

"So Butters, why the hell did you date Cartman?"

Butters nervously drops the fry he's eating and turns his gaze down towards the food, while Y/N kicks Kyle under the table for being so rude.