Chasing Memories

[25] Freefall

    Blank, sterile hospital walls greeted Elise on her return from the depths of her dreams. A mist of cloud-covered sunlight wafted into the room through the nearby window, its clean white shutter blinds cracked a touch to reveal the world beyond. From over her head, the whispered strikes of a minimalist wall clock etched the silence into paper-thin pieces that slipped away as quickly as they came by. Curled up in her chair with her eyes shut, Elise unravelled the knots that twisted through her limbs and immersed herself in the morning's slow peace.

    Then Elise opened her eyes, and the weight of the previous night plummeted onto her shoulders. Cadence lay unmoving in the cold hospital bed, less than an outstretched arm away and yet estranged from the worldly threads that wound around her. The ends of her fingers sat stiff and still at her sides, and a mournful grey shade unravelled like ruin along the curves of her sunken cheeks. Yet even here, the girl captivated Elise's attention with every sparse, snatched breath and slight shift of her hair. Even here, Cadence was her beautiful best friend, unmistakable and irreplaceable in every aspect.

    With a last lingering touch of her friend's ice-cold hand, Elise retrieved a set of sticky notes from her bag and worked her way through three pens before one spilled its ink for her. Gone to get coffee – back soon, she wrote, then furrowed her brow. The message seemed so impersonal, so insignificant after such a shocking, draining experience, yet Elise did not know what more to write. She had left all her loving words on her friend's lips the previous night, an exchange that had only intensified her urge to do away with language and let her heart express itself as it wished. Accepting defeat, Elise added a simple Hope you're feeling better, scrawled her name with a wonky heart, and stuck the note to her chair.

    Easing the door shut behind her as she left, Elise scoured the broad, spotless corridor she stood in for the promise of something resembling caffeine. A few steps brought her to the main artery through this wing of the hospital, yet no signs of life greeted her eye beyond the sheening leaves of a convincing fake plant. Her steps filled the hallway with swelling echoes, as if something much larger than herself lurked close behind, following her every move.

    The overheard signs guided Elise to the nearest waiting area, where the sight of a generic, well-used corporate coffee machine chased her dread away. Passing ward staff turned their eyes towards her as the machine shunted and hissed to life, and Elise dodged their glances by digging out her phone. Her device pleaded for the comfort of its charging cable, yet its begging failed to register beside the stacks of missed calls and unanswered texts Robin had left for her to find.

    Guessing you're busy with your friend again, his final message read in steely directness, a solid blow unsoftened by any emoji cushioning. Just get back to me whenever you want. Sorry.

    "Shit," Elise muttered as she stuffed her phone back into her bag. Leaving Robin on read chafed against her better judgement, yet she lacked both the clarity and the energy to render last night's events into coherent sentences. It was not the hour-long road trip, the relentless thrum of the music, the impulsive stage dive, the equally impulsive kiss, the shock of Melody's cruelty, or the horror of Cadence's spiking that she struggled to describe. No matter how hard she tried, Elise could not banish her prescient nightmare from her memory of the night.

    She had seen the crisis coming, and yet she had still let it happen without even trying to stop it.

    "Excuse me?" A small voice sounded out behind Elise, and she turned to see a short man perched on a twitching crutch. Though his eyes were kind, the first sparks of impatience ground through his jaw. "Is that your drink there, or...?"

    Elise glanced over to see her freshly poured cup of watered-down dirt steaming and awaiting her hand. "Oh, sure," she mumbled as she lifted her paper cup out of the way, wrinkling her nose at the distinct muddy aroma that invited itself into her nostrils. "Sorry. I've got a lot on my mind. Last night was...crazy."