Polar Night (Completed).

Part 21 - End of Hours, 'Malevolent'

In life, you couldn't really have everything.

One good thing you had in one hand would be balanced by the one you lost from the other side. It was always went around to the saying, no one's life was totally perfect.

Tonight was supposed to be your night, when your dream came true and you could embrace the accolade from years of your hardwork.

But the thing you felt right now was nowhere near happy nor proud.

When Jimin was with Sophia, you wanted so bad to be a prima ballerina, to show him that you could do what she was good at, that you could dance as well as her to match him on the stage.
Now that Sophia was gone and you took her place, he found someone else instead. A girl who was nobody, far from your level, a mere backdrop dancer.
You had thought there was something that you lacked, and you desperately wanted to fill that gap, so that he would finally looked at you the way you wanted him to.

But who was you to kid yourself with? You were just trying to reach the unattainable, something that didn't exist from the start.

Even with your status to be engaged with another man, you were still hoping that he would somehow realize how genuine your feeling for him. Everytime your eyes met with his, it never occured to you that your affection had always been one-sided.
It was like a slap in the face with the brute reality that you failed to notice before.

Because you were too drunk in love.
A love that blinded you even with all the facts that were shot at you point blank.

You choked back a sob wiping the tears that totally ruined your make up, there was smear of black ink from your mascara on your fingers. It was the right decision to ask Mr. Kim to take you home. You wouldn't be able to face them in this state.
Your team members had expected you to be present at gala dinner, there would be reporters from websites and magazines to write some headlines about the show.

You ruined the chance when you let your unrequited love got in the way.

You stared blankly to the painting on the wall, one of the many collectibles Mr. Kim owned that probably cost thousands of euros for a piece. It portrayed a young woman with blue oriental turban and big pearl on her ear. Her eyes looked inoccent and unaware, as if her expression was captured in a candid sense. She wasn't striking, but there was an aura of innocent youth on her overall visage.

You stood and walked towards the framed canvas, running your fingers on the carved wooden edge. Your eyes trained on her face and it had you wondered how an ordinary face could look attractive and mistifying through strokes of brush.
Albeit without eyebrows.
But strangely, it didn't seem odd, like her imperfection was the feature that made her looked distinguishably pretty.

It was the thing that had you thought about his attention on you. What was so interesting about you that drew him in? If people asked you to describe yourself, boring and introvert was probably the first thing that came in your mind.
Nothing about you so stand out that would make people notice you right away.

Except for when you danced on the stage.

It was the only moment that you were more than confident about yourself. How your body could naturally move to the beautiful music for every role that you represented, antagonist or protagonist. You could blend effortlessly into the stories as well as into dynamic with other dancers in the group.
You realized from all those photos captured from different angles, you were indeed beautiful and captivating doing the thing that you loved the most.

If only Jimin could see what Mr. Kim saw in you, it would be all perfect.
Just like what you'd been dreaming about during your time together.

You suddenly realized that he almost never complimented you, appearance nor skill wise.

His attention always subtly wandered whenever there were other girls around. The only moment he would praise you was when he grinded himself inside you, mind clouded with lust and need.
In those moment of oblivion while chasing his orgasms, string of praises were like naturally came out from his lips.

Unlike Mr. Kim, -whose eyes were like a hawk, always watching you with endless intensity. You couldn't say it was a good thing, often times it scared you, had you wanted to avoid his gaze.
But tonight, having his attention fixated on your every move, you indeed felt like a star. Worthy of attention from a beautiful man like him.

Why couldn't you just fall in love with this man instead of Jimin?
It would be much easier for you.

But no matter what ... you just couldn't.

There was something missing. The void was like a hole in your heart, trail of wounded scar Jimin had left.
You weren't oblivious, of course. Nothing good would come if you insisted to wait for Jimin. But it was also difficult to stop the defeated feeling as well as the painful twist in your heart.

Your night was ruined partly because of that girl, the new dancer who was none of the wiser about Jimin and his womanizer way with women.

But the girl knew well about your history with Jimin, everyone in the team was well aware.
But she went for the man anyway.

Mr. Kim forbade you from any romantic relationship between colleagues, yet Jimin had all the audacity to step over boundaries in his first month joining a big company like La Scala.
He was still under Mr. Kim's employment after all.

You turned around walking to the door with newfound determination and anger that burned from jealousy you didn't realize until now.

You would be damned if you just let it slide, if you would be the only one to be punished for breaking the rules.
If you had to suffer, you would make sure you wouldn't bear it alone.