Reverie of Resilience ( ON HOLD )

four : unexpected light

My day off from the hospital didn't translate into a day of rest. Instead, I found myself amidst the neon lights and pulsating beats of the Dragon Kang—my family's business that often felt more like a curse than a refuge. As I served drinks and navigated the crowd, the rhythmic chaos of the bar enveloped me. The air was thick with a cacophony of laughter, clinking glasses, and the distant hum of conversations. The Dragon Kang bar, a realm of contrasting energies, was both a stage and a battleground.

Amidst the swirling currents of the bar, my mother, the orchestrator of this chaotic symphony, beckoned me to the side with a stern expression etched across her face. I excused myself from a group of rowdy patrons and made my way to the dimly lit corner where my mother awaited."What's going on, Mom?" I asked, trying to keep my tone neutral.

She sighed, her eyes glinting with a mixture of frustration and disappointment. "Lily, we've been over this. The bar isn't making enough money. We need to do something about it."I nodded, the familiar weight of financial woes settling on my shoulders. "I know, Mom. It's just not easy to attract more customers." She leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Maybe if you showed a little more skin, we'd get more attention. Men like that sort of thing."I recoiled at her suggestion, my eyes narrowing in disbelief.

"Show more skin? Are you serious, Mom? I'm not going to degrade myself for the sake of a few extra customers."She sighed again, frustration etched across her features. "Lily, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good. We need this business to thrive." Before I could protest further, I saw an opportunity to interrupt her misguided lecture. My eyes widened, and I couldn't contain the excitement bubbling within me. "Mom, I have incredible news! I got accepted into the culinary school in Tokyo!"

The words hung in the air for a moment, and I expected a flicker of pride or at least a hint of acknowledgment. Instead, her expression darkened, and a sudden tension engulfed the space between us.
"Culinary school?" she spat out, as if the mere mention of it left a bitter taste on her tongue. "You're going to waste your time and our money on some fucking fancy cooking classes? Lily, we need you here at the bar. You can't just run off to pursue your whims."

The joy of my accomplishment quickly turned to dismay as I tried to reason with her. "Mom, this is an incredible opportunity. I've dreamt of becoming a chef, and this school is renowned for—"

Before I could finish my sentence, her hand swung through the air with a force that caught me off guard. The sharp slap echoed in the dimly lit corner, and a metallic taste flooded my mouth. I touched my lips and saw blood on my fingertips.

"What the fuck, Mom?!" I exclaimed, the sting of her slap still reverberating through me.

She glared at me, unyielding in her conviction. "You think you can just abandon the bar for some culinary school fantasy? If you're going to bring shame to this family, then maybe you're better off gone!" As the words hung in the air, I felt a mix of anger and hurt welling up inside me. I couldn't fathom how pursuing my dreams equated to bringing shame. The bar, a place that should have been a haven, had become a battleground where my aspirations were deemed unworthy.

I retreated from the confrontation, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I needed a moment to collect myself, to wipe away the blood from my lips and mend the invisible wounds inflicted by my own mother.

Amidst the throbbing music and the blur of faces at the bar, I found solace in a quiet corner. The realization struck me that my pursuit of dreams had come at a cost—a physical and emotional toll I hadn't anticipated.
The night unfolded with a numbness as I mechanically continued to serve drinks, the weight of my mother's disapproval hanging over me. The once vibrant Dragon Kang bar now felt like a shadowy realm, casting a pallor over my aspirations.