She's beyond anyone's understanding
Her love is just as unexplainable as her behavior
Why she does what she does,
Why she says what she says
Some say she aspires to be a famous writer,
Some say she wishes to be a known actress,
Most say she doesn't care about her future,
But very few people know the reason behind that.
She doesn't reveal too much about herself,
Although it's easy for her to find things about others.
Most call her "Moon",
Some call her 'Qualia",
But they don't know where those nicknames came from,
And they don't normally ask her
They know there won't be an answer.
She doesn't like being called by her real name,
And with a good reason.
All she can associate it with is pain,
Pain which she desperately tries to run away from,
But inevitably catches up to her in the end
Yet she grew to find comfort in it,
So it became whatever.
It's not like she doesn't try to escape it though
Her agoraphobia keeps her locked inside,
To keep her away from the terrifying world,
And all it's dangers that lurk in it
Behind the closed doors.
But she knows nothing but pain at home either,
So even if there seems to be no escape,
She's found her own ways of dealing with it,
It has almost become her identity..
The way she quietly laughs at small things,
Those which remind her of the one she loves most.
The way she types her thoughts on a screen,
And the way she writes with blood on paper,
Some even say she's a witch.
The way the liquor burns down her throat,
At the same time and the same way as the smoke,
The smoke filling her lungs,
As she lets the night sky hear her cries,
Her quiet sobs,
Her desperate screams
With some all too familiar songs in the background.
But in the morning, things will be different
Not better, different.
She will begin to romanticize her suffering,
While looking at the grey clouds above her,
And not caring about what has to happen from then on.
She's so strange...
And so beyond everyone's understanding..
YOU ARE READING
✦✩☾ everything i'm too scared to tell you ~ ❣︎
Poesiarandom girl, with nothing to live for, falls in love with, and obsesses over someone she can't have. since she can't tell anyone how she truly feels she writes down all her thoughts... this is her diary:
