One Step Forward

Chapter 12. I'm A Mess

Mya's POV

Linc's siblings were bouncing between Linc and his uncle. They hadn't decided where the kids were better off yet. Linc hadn't been at the clubhouse in a few days. I hadn't heard from him much since his mother died either. The funeral was today. It had been a week since she died. 

I knocked on the front door. 

Linc opened the door. "Hey, baby," he murmured.

"Hi," I said softly and stepped inside. I closed the door behind me. "How are you?"

"I'm sorry. I know I haven't been around much," he said and sighed. "I just need some time to. . . process it, I guess."

I wrapped my arms around him. "It's okay." Suddenly the smell of whiskey hit me. I dropped my arms and stared at him bewildered. "Really, Linc? You're drinking at eight in the morning?"

"What? No. I was drunk the night before. I probably spilled some on my shirt, okay?" Linc tore his shirt off as he responded.

I couldn't help but marvel a little bit at his perfect torso. 

"I have coffee if you want some," he said and gestured to the kitchen.

"Okay," I said and followed after him. 

We sat down at his small four-person kitchen table with a cup of coffee. "So, do you want some help going through your mom's house? Do you know what you're going to do with the house or the kids?"

He sighed. "I'm going to try to keep the kids here with me. I don't think that going back to that house is going to help them right now. Uncle Charles is going to take them from time to time and help me with them, but we decided they're more familiar with me and probably better off. I'm thinking about selling this house and Mom's house and buying that big one up the street."

"That's not a bad idea. You'll probably need more room."

"Probably," he agreed and lit a cigarette. "Look, I know it isn't what you signed up for. You have Lilly and I'm about to have three kids to raise. If you want out of this. . ." he trailed off and glanced up at me. Smoke rolled off his lips.

"What? Linc, what are you talking about?" I asked and blinked several times. What the hell is he saying?

"I'm a mess, okay? I know that, and now I'm going to have three more mouths to feed. I don't expect you to stick around. I mean, I can't expect you to just move in with me one day and help me raise all of these kids." He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes.

I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. Once his eyes locked with mine, I spoke slowly. "I'm not going anywhere, babe. I want to be with you. Besides, I always said I wanted a big family. I'm not saying we should up and rush into living together or anything, but when that time does come, we will work it out."

He bit down on his bottom lip as he stared at me for a long moment, and then he stood up leaned over the table, and smashed his lips to mine. I couldn't taste whiskey on his lips, so I was sure now he was telling the truth. He broke the kiss and met my gaze. "I love you, baby. You're incredible. I mean it, and thank you for helping and offering to help."

"I love you too. You're welcome."

"I better get ready, huh?"

"Probably," I said. I stood up and kissed him one more time. "Pick me up?"

"Yeah," he said. 

I headed for the front door as he headed down the hall to the bathroom. Linc was going to ride his motorcycle as were many of the others. I was going to ride with Linc. Mom was taking Lilly with her.