One Step Forward

Chapter 6. One Step Forward

Mya's POV

I would be willing to bet I had been staring at the pictures of my son, whom I had never met. When I took Linc home, he gave me the photos before I left.  

Lilly hadn't said much to me tonight. I wasn't sure if it was because of my silence or how emotional today was. It really put both of us on an emotional rollercoaster. I was sure it did the same to Linc, which wasn't good for his mental health. I wasn't sure how much more he could handle. I glanced at my phone and considered calling him to check in, but I didn't want to seem like a nagging girlfriend because he didn't belong to me anymore.

I sighed and looked back down at the picture of a younger-looking Lincoln holding our son. The phone rang. I knew who it was before I even grabbed it. 

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, um, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know how rough today must have been for you," Linc said. The concern in his voice melted me in a way I couldn't explain. Just knowing he cared enough to call me. Linc and I were completely on the outs when I first got back and strangely, it felt as if we had gotten closer again.

Tears built up in my eyes, but so many thoughts ran through my mind, it was too chaotic to answer him.

"Mya?" he murmured. "Hey, I can come over there."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it didn't work so I tried speaking around it. "No," I croaked.

"Mya, you're upset. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring all this onto you. I just thought, you know, it's been a while since everything happened, and I figured you might like to visit him. I shouldn't have taken you—"

"No, no. It's okay, Linc. It's normal to. . . feel pain. Healthy, actually. If anything I'm handling it so much better than I did back then."

He sighed. "If I could walk, I would have just come over instead of calling."

"You still exercising your toes," I teased and finally I was able to swallow the lump in my throat. 

A chuckle escaped him. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good," I said and smiled.

"Don't stare at those pictures all night. Think about good things. You have a beautiful daughter. You're successful. You're going to help a lot of people."

I laughed. "What makes you think I'm looking at the pictures?"

"Did you forget who you're talking to? My guess is you are sitting on your bed with your legs crossed, and have the pictures neatly set in rows where you can see all of them at once."

I facepalmed but smiled. "Guilty."

"I thought so. Doesn't matter what time we spent apart, babe. I'll always know you better than anyone knows you."

Tears started again and I opened my mouth to respond, but the line went dead. I looked at my phone and realized he had hung up. He called me babe—my stomach twisted at the thought. Linc used to tell me I was too incredible and unpredictable for one nickname, so he called me many things, and babe was just one of them. 

I stared at the phone. Why would he hang up? Was it something I said? Was it what he said? I didn't want Linc thinking we could be more than friends. I wasn't ready for that with anyone let alone him. Some part of me missed him in that way, but another part of me is afraid of what'll happen to me and my daughter if I have any future with him.

I picked the pictures up and set them neatly in a drawer beside my bed. I snuggled into the blanket, gripping it as if I were a child afraid of the monster in my closet. That night, I dreamt of Linc, but not in a bad way. It wasn't of the accident. It was of the future. What triggered the dream was beyond me, but we were on a back porch watching kids run around.