Focus
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I can never focus.
My brain goes to a better place when I need to focus.
It travels to the Netherlands
It travels to the warmth of his arms,
It travels to the night sky,
It travels to the memories I wish I could relive.
I take a deep breath.
I need to focus.
Focus.
Focus.
Focus.
Why did it happen?
Where did it go wrong?
Am I the problem?
What if I don't get out of bed tomorrow?
Breathe.
Focus.
I lift my pencil.
Maybe he thinks about me.
Why does the rain fall?
Does anyone care about me?
Maybe I don't exist.
Breathe.
Focus.
I write a sentence.
I know this work is due tomorrow.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Am I breathing?
Why is the air hot?
Focus.
For the love of God focus.
I write a paragraph.
Finally.
I'm worthless.
I will never succeed.
Breathe.
Focus.
I turn up the music.
I continue to write.
I try not to think.
Focus.
