This is the video this was based off of.
Enjoy!
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C/n: Now it's time to send in our cute, little secret weapon.
Lugnut: I'm ready mistress! I love the nickname.
C/n: No, Lugnut, not you. I was talking about Steve! *Pulls 999ft long metal worm out from corner*
Lugnut: Oh... Right. Obviously!
C/n: Over the past month, I've had him trained to retrieve corpses. And now, boy... it's time to make mommy proud!
Lugnut: Yes, ma'am!
C/n: I could not have been more clearly talking to the Driller.
Steve: *Hisses*
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C/n: *Imitates the sound of falling sand while slowly walking over to Megatron*
Megatron: What is happening right now?
C/n: The last sands are running through the hourglass. *Imitates the sound of falling sand* Because your time is running out, and you are never going to get the plaque.
Lugnut: *Runs in* Mistress! Stop! I just can't let you embarrass yourself. I told Lord Megatron everything! He threatened to replace me, and I freaked out hard! I'm sorry.
C/n: It's okay, I knew you would betray me. That's why I fed you fake intel.
Megatron & Lugnut: What?
C/n: The plaque was never in cold cases in 1972. As if I'd just put it in a box unattended.
Megatron: Uh... But you did.
C/n: No, I didn't.
Megatron: Then... How do you explain this? *Pulls plaque out of subspace with a smug grin*
C/n: I have no idea... I put the plaque in my office. Steve!
Steve: *Comes out with plaque in a tendril*
C/n: Come here, come here, come here baby!
Megatron: *Confused* The hell?
C/n: *Takes plaque from Steve and gives him chin scratches* Yeah, thank you~ Return to my office, please.
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C/n: *Walks out of warship, looking around to see if coast was clear, pulls out whistle and blows through it* *Sees Steve come out of vent* Good boy, Steve, bring me that cummerbund. *Takes cummerbund from Steve, looks over it and realizes something* Wait a minute! This isn't the Championship cummerbund; this is some common cummerbund! *Looks over at Steve and realizes something* And you're not Steve; you're just some common bitch!
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Starscream: Okay, security system, talk to me. What have I missed, what's going on? *Sees C/n outside with a random Driller on a camera* Aha! C/n used Steve to steal the belt! But, that's not Steve. C/n and Steve always walk in a perfect lock step. Which means someone took Steve, and that person has the belt! But who? Who took Steve? *Looks through the rest of the camera systems*
Blackarachnia: *Talking to Blitzwing before she sneezed*
Starscream: Bless you- She sneezed! Driller allergies! Which means that Blackarachnia took-
C/n: Steve! *Enters observation deck* Where... is my Driller?
Blitzwing(Icy): Aren't you standing right next to him?
C/n: This bitch? Please! Watch. Roll over. Roll over.
Random Driller: *Does nothing*
C/n: Idiot... *Looks up to everyone that's in the room* I know one of you took Steve, and you did it for the sake of the heist! But if anything happens to him, I will end you! I couldn't bring myself to neuter Steve, but I will neuter you all.
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Steve: *Slithers throughout the ship, reaching C/n's office* *Screeches*
C/n: *Opens door, looking up at Steve* Steve?
Steve: *Screeches*
C/n: Steve... Roll over.
Steve: *Rolls over*
C/n: Ah, good speed, pristine shell; that's my Drilly! You betrayed me, you'll explain yourself later. Return to your bone hole in my office.
Steve: *Slithers into office*
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C/n: *Walks into Command Center* What's going on here? Why is Steve here, and why is he in a swim skirt?
Swindle: Because the little sailor outfit wouldn't fit his tush.
C/n: Excuse me?
Swindle: We're setting you up a Twitter account, and the fastest way to get followers is cute animal pics.
Blitzwing(Random): I followed an account that's just this one real grouchy Turbofox. He hates waking up so much!
Swindle: He really does he like "Ugh" *Makes tired expression*
Swindle & Blitzwing: *Laughing*
C/n: This is ridiculous! This has nothing to do with Decepticon activities!
Blitzwing(Icy): Exactly, it's about being noticed, and right now, no one is noticing you.
Swindle: I didn't even realize we were talking to a third party presently!
C/n: Fine! If you really think it's necessary, I will establish a... social media presence. But I'll be setting up my own account, and I assure you... I won't be resorting to foolish gimmicks involving my Driller.
Swindle: Uh, you might want to rethink that stance, because how cute would Steve look in this hat? *Picks up baseball cap*
C/n: Please, when it comes to clothes, Steve wears a little Viking helmet and a Viking skirt in battle, or Steve... wears nothing!
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C/n: So, I guess this proves I was right all along; social media? *shrugs* It's a fool's game, and only a fool would play.
Swindle: *Nods in understanding* And why is Steve wearing a beret?
Blitzwing: *Looks over at Steve, seeing a cute, tiny beret on top of his head*
C/n: Uh... Megatron saw your photos and was amused, so we started an Instagram account for Steve, who now has over 14 thousand followers.
Swindle & Blitzwing: *Shocked and amazed*
C/n: It's an incredible feeling.
YOU ARE READING
I Guess Being a Hero Wasn't In My Programming (Megatron x
FanfictionAfter the Great War on Cybertron, the Decepticons were exiled off the planet; You being one of them for betraying your brother and especially for falling in love with the bot who is the Leader of the Decepticons: Megatron, your Conjunx Endura.
