I can't escape this now (unless you show me how) TODDBLACK - NOT ME THE SERIES

1 - somewhere between antiseptic and cigarette smoke

author's note:

Canon is what it is but it's not what it should have been and that's why we're here.

I had nothing but sleep-deprivation, a weirdly specific scenario and a dream and this is what I created.

English is not my first language, I know my English teacher would clutch his pearls if he ever saw this monstrosity.

Proceed with caution.

***

The air reeked of antiseptic, but Black didn't mind as he had gotten used to it long ago. It mixed with the smoke of the cigarette that he held in his hand.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing that drowned out the silence. Black stood by the open window and took one last long drag before crushing it on the windowsill, then flipping it away. Getting rid of the evidence before the nurse would come to check on the patient.

He knew that at any moment, like every day, she would burst into this room, greet him, then remind him that visiting hours are already over and politely but sternly ask him to leave.

Before he dropped back into the chair near the bed, he closed the window. He used the last few minutes of silence to take it all in one last time.

The two windows in front of him, one of which was broken and couldn't be opened, while the other only opened enough for him to poke his hand through. The little circular stain on the grey floor that he couldn't--didn't want to--identify. The TV across the room, only showing three different channels, one of them being the hospital commercial with a background music that got on his nerves in less than two days. The other two being a news channel and a channel with exclusively reruns of 80s lakorns.

Black's gaze eventually landed on the unconscious man on the hospital bed. The swelling on his face was still there, like a signature that Black had left on his face. A reminder of what Todd had done. Of what Todd deserved. The bruises tinted his flawless skin, but it had turned from a dark purple to a soft yellow.

He couldn't name the feeling that spread through him at this sight. But it caused his mouth to curl up into a small smile. Had Todd felt the same way? It wasn't that long ago that Black was in his place. Except his bed wasn't that comfortable and he didn't have a single room.

Black's smile dropped, and he sank into the chair to make himself comfortable. He didn't think that seeing Todd like this would change anything, and it didn't. Once Todd woke up, he would still be the same person he was weeks ago.

He was still the Todd who beat his best friend into a coma and planned his death many times.

He was still the Todd who betrayed him.

His hands formed into fists and he looked away, out of the open window at the sunset. It was getting late and the sun sent a last bright beam across the sky, painting it orange and violet. The last time he remembered the sky looking like this was when he had spoken to his brother. When he said goodbye.

He knew White was safe. He would feel it if it was otherwise. But he still couldn't help but wonder where he was right this second.

Was he eating dinner with the rest of the group in the garage? Or was he alone with Sean? They rarely shared meals when Black was there, but it seemed that through White, a lot had changed for them as well. They seemed closer now, more like a family.

If he closed his eyes, if he just let himself drift a little bit, he could feel him. Laughter, filled with joy and glee. Somewhere in an old garage. He had yet to get used to this connection between White and himself. He hadn't felt it in over ten years and suddenly it was all back. Somehow he felt like he had found his missing piece and someone stripping him of all he was at the same time.