All Because I Couldn't Say I Love You

Who's Ashton?

After that, Ashton took Kie home, but not before asking her to go out with him tomorrow, that day became the next, and that became another day, and that soon became a week. Kie and JJ did talk it out though.

-----------------------------

The night was cold, and pebbles hit her window. She knew who it was, but she was up and opening the window before she even knew it. Habit.

JJ's already at the window, crawling in.

"Kie, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry. You were just worried about me, and I'm so sorry." He said with his hands on his head.

Before he knew it, her arms were already wrapped around his neck, with her head buried in the crook of his neck.

His hands flew around her, pulling her impossibly close.

"It's okay, J. It's okay, now... I get it." Kie said, smiling into his neck.

"I love you, kie." JJ said with a big smile.

He means it the way we all know he means.

"I love you too, silly." She replied. She was smiling so much, JJ couldn't help but smile.

She thought it was innocent, but he still gave her butterflies, but she knew deep down it was him. But she didn't recognize that yet. She really, really wishes she did.

They turn when the door opens. John B's holding her phone up, with Ashton's name painted across the black screen.

They slowly pull away, looking at each other for a while.

"Who's Ashton?" JJ asks, looking at her.

She gulps. What does she say? Does her actually know? She knows how he'll react to finding out she's talking to a boy.

"The guy I'm talking to..." she says sheepishly, slowly turning to look at JJ.

The phone's now in her hands, she's agreeing to something and JJ doesn't like it one bit. He's skeptical. She knows that too. After a few more moments of watching Kie smile at Ashton's voice, they hang up.

"You're talking to a guy? When can I fucking meet him?" JJ asks, glaring at her phone.

She's quick to grab his hands.

"Hey, relax... I'm sure he's a good guy. We've already been on two dates." She shushes.

"Two?! Kie, when did you meet this guy?" He says, throwing his head in his hands.

She looks at him sadly, staring right into his beautiful blue eyes. "After we fought, J... he saw me-" she stopped herself. JJ squeezed her hands gently, urging her to continue. "Saw me crying, on the park bench-" JJ cringes when he hears it. Kie isn't much for saying how she feels, or what's wrong. They just have to guess, and some of the time JJ gets it right. Out of the three boys, he gets it right, but that's hardly ever. She suffers alone and he hates that. "He took me to get coffee, called it a date. He was being super sweet to me, JJ!" She smiles, looking back on it in awe. He seems like a nice guy. But maybe he's not what he seems. "He walked me home, and then asked me out yesterday, so I said yes, and he's picking me up tonight to go stargazing." She said with a smile.

That should be him. Why didn't he say it like he meant it? Why did he get mad at her? He should've held his girl tighter, not let her leave. Those tears about a boy. It's supposed to be him wiping her tears because of a stupid boy. That stupid boy was him, and he let her get someone to do that instead of him.

"Kie, I don't trust this." JJ said, looking at her.

He never wanted her hurt. If anybody ever hurt her, they wouldn't make it to see the next day. He loved her. More than friends. It's not platonic anymore. It never was. He wants her. He wants to be the one to text her cute messages in the morning, and before she falls asleep. He wants to be the one to call her at night, and listen to her fall asleep as he's talking. He wants to be the one to hold her when she cries, or hold her hair back when she pukes. He wants to be the one she can lean on. He never wanted her to do that with anyone else. The way he wants to push her away from the side of the sidewalk closest to the cars, kiss her under the stars on a late night date. He wants to be the one to carry her inside, when she fell asleep in the car. Why can't he be the one to put his hand on her thigh? Or why can't he put his hand on her knee when she starts to get nervous or when he goes to get up.

Why could he let a woman like that go? There's not another Kie, and there's no on better than kie.

She thinks there is, but JJ couldn't never think that. He loves the way she looks and acts. When he flirts with her, he loves the way she pretends to be mad, or giggles at him. He wants to be the one to wrap his arms around her, and pull her back to his chest and tell how beautiful she is. Make her smile and feel beautiful. He wants to be that guy. It'll take a lot to fix the damage that's been done. He wants to pulls her in his lap and have her tell him why she doesn't think she's beautiful.

That should've been him.

Dancing in the refrigerator light after he did her hair. Taking her makeup off when she's too tired too. Keep her safe when she's scared and hold her until she feels better. That's what he wants.

That's what he needs.

He needs her.

"I know JJ... but seriously... you can meet him soon... I just need to be sure about it first." She says with a nice smile. God, he can't say no to this woman.

All he can do is nod. That's it. Nothing more.

----------------------------

It's about their 6th date, and Ashton seemed serious. That won her over.

He definitely has that effect on people.

They arrive at the coffee shop again. They walk in, the way they have been for 6 dates. They sit, talk, smiling, laughing.

"So, Kiara... I was wondering..." Ashton trailed off.

"Wondering-?" She questioned.

He acted nervous.

"Umm- sorry, you'll probably say no anyways-" she cut him off.

"Nonono! Just ask, it's okay!" She said reassuringly.

She's too sweet for this.

"Will you be my girlfriend" he mumbled, holding up a necklace. He held a single tulip in his hand. It was white with pink freckles around it.

She hated pink, but she never wanted him to know that.

"Oh my gosh... yeah- yeah!" She smiled.

And that's where she went wrong.

Again.

----------------------------

Sorry for not updating! I've had such a writers block! I hope this chapter makes up for it! I'll try to get more out soon!!

Love you!