Motionless in White One Shots

Rainy Day - Rick Smut

You watch out the window as the rain falls, you truthfully love thunderstorms, they are perfect thinking weather.  The problem with that is you can't currently make your mind shut off, and you are struggling a lot with the self doubt that is running through your head right now.  The man you are in love with is laying next to you in bed asleep, but the problem with that is that he isn't in love with you. 
The two of you are in a situationship, enjoying the physical side when it benefits the two of you.  Him swearing off relationships as a whole after the one he thought was for him left about a year ago.  At first the friends with benefits thing was enough for you, but it has slowly turned towards more for you.
When you asked him over tonight you actually intended for that to be the end of whatever this is, because emotionally you can't handle acting like it means nothing anymore when it means the world to you at this point.  The two of you had agreed that if either of you started to get feelings for the other that you would end things.
You don't realize that he has woken up until you feel a hand brush against your hair, making you turn to look at him. He smiles warmly at you, able to tell that your mind is running and something isn't right, but he isn't sure what has changed in the last few hours.
"What's bothering you?" he asks you softly, his eyes searching your face hoping for a truthful answer.
"Rick, I-I can't pretend that this means nothing to me anymore," you say softly, not realizing that warm tears are falling down your cheeks as you turn away from him, not wanting him to see. "We can't do this anymore, you have grown to mean way too much to me and I just can't do this anymore."
You let out a soft sigh, moving to wipe your own tears away as you now watch the lightning and rain fall outside of your window, focusing on the sounds of the rain over your own thoughts that are yelling at you, telling you that you are an idiot.  That if this is the most you can get from him that you should accept that, it is better than nothing.
"Look at me y/n, please." you can feel him pull on your arm, wanting you to turn back towards him but you can't. 
You just shake your head, not wanting to have to see him as you know that his words are going to rip your heart out.  You don't want him to have to see your face when he does that, not wanting him to have to feel guilt over that.  The two of you agreed to tell the other if things changed because you wanted no strings and you broke that promise.  You continued for far too long after realizing that you developed feelings for him and now you have to face the consequences of keeping that a secret.
"Fine, I can say this without you watching me but I can't just ignore it and not say anything.  You think things haven't changed for me either? We have started spending time together, laying with each other like a couple.  We have been spending a lot of time together just watching movies, having dinner together.  We may not have acknowledged that things are different but they are, you think that doesn't scare me too? That I am not terrified of the fact that I said no strings attached and am absolutely in love with you now?"
You can't help the gasp that escapes with you hearing his confession, that you did not expect to come out of his mouth.  You expected a harsh rejection, him to say that he wanted nothing to do with you anymore now that you have feelings for him.
You slowly turn so that you can face him, searching his face for the lie, but all you can find is genuine emotion written across his face. He reaches out, brushing a couple more of your stray tears from your cheeks with the lightest touch he has probably ever given you.
"You know, they say that rain washes things away right? That it washes things away and helps grow positives? Maybe we need to let it wash away what we used to be and let this new thing grow between us.  If you can trust and accept that what I just said is true," he says softly, ghosting a kiss against your forehead.
"Rick, I," you can't find the words you need to speak. "I, you love me? You aren't just fucking with me right now?"
"I wouldn't joke about this y/n, I didn't think I would feel this way about anyone again when she broke my heart, so it has taken me a while to accept what I am feeling for you.  But I do, and I want to explore this with you, if you will let me," he says softly, cupping your cheek so that he can urge you to meet his eyes.
"I have been panicking about the fact I have fallen in love with you for a few months and you drop this on me? I love you too Rick, I'm sorry because we said we wouldn't but I do.  I don't feel bad about it either," you say softly, hoping that he understands just how willing you are to do this with him.
He shifts closer to you, brushing a soft kiss against your lips, both of you pouring all of your emotions into your kiss, getting all these new emotions out towards one another.  Neither of you pressure each other, taking your time to softly enjoy each other's embrace.
Slowly one of his hands works its way under the hem of your shirt, leaving light touches on your stomach before it makes its way up towards your chest, teasing your nipple gently.  Rolling it between his fingers until it becomes a stiff peak before moving on towards the other one, wanting to slowly bring you back in the mood. To show you just how much he loves and enjoys your body, to pour all these new emotions into each other.
You shift, moving your hips against his, both of you slowly starting to grind on each other as you shamelessly make out with each other like a couple of needy highschoolers.
He shifts slightly so that you are now underneath him, moving his lips so they settle on the soft skin of your throat.  Leaving soft kisses before he settles in your sweet spot, the one he knows gets you going but that you have never let him mark before.
"Please, just this once.  Let me leave my mark, show everyone that you are mine," he whispers softly in your ear. You shift at his words, knowing that you will enjoy it if you let him  And would having to leave your hair down for a few days at work be that bad?
You nod, letting out a sigh when you feel his smile against your skin before his lips settle against your neck again, this time nipping and sucking at your sweet spot.  Him growing even more hard as he hears your breathing change, the little whimpers that fall out of your lips without you being aware of it.  And each time you shift your hips they rub against him, another bonus of him working you up like this. He lets out a sigh, pulling away and looking at the darkening mark that now graces the juncture of where your shoulder and neck meet.
You shift again, moving so that you are side by side so that you can reach down between the two of you, taking his hardened length in your hand so that you can gently stroke him, give him a little pleasure like he has given you already, wanting to get him fully hard for you.
His lips find yours again, pulling you into another heated and needy kiss as you continue to work him with your hand until his rests over yours, stopping you.
"I want you to ride me baby, please?" he asks you softly, moving to slip his shirt off of you that you had put on earlier after you two fucked the first time for the evening.  His hands settle on your hips as he rolls the two of you over, pulling you on top of him this time.
You slowly move so that you are straddling his hips, slowly easing yourself down on top of him as you both let out a sigh.  Suddenly feeling closer to him than you ever have before as you rock your hips on his, slowly, in no hurry to finish this out. His hands leave your hips, slowly sliding up your torso to settle on your breasts, kneading them before they start to tweak your nipples, making them hard under his hands.
You let out a sigh, the feeling of his hands on you as he slowly slides in and out of you sends shivers down your spine, somehow more pleasurable than usual despite it being so much slower than either of you are used to.  You move, getting a little more needy as you lean down to capture his lips in a kiss again.
This is something else that is new for the two of you as well, the two of you have avoided kissing each other too much while you have sex to avoid bringing emotions and intimacy into the act.  So this simple act brings so much more to what the two of you are doing that you are used to.  His lips move against yours needy, searching for something, and you can only hope that you are providing what he needs.
His hands settle on your hips again, this time stopping you as he flips your position, now he is over the top of you.  Looking down at you with such a gentle gaze that you almost don't recognize the look in his eyes.
As he begins to thrust inside of you, rougher than what you were doing with him he reaches down between the two of you so that he can rub your clit.  You have gotten him so close that he needs you to fucking cum, not wanting to finish without you.
"Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me.  Like you were fucking made for me," he groans out as he continues to bring you closer and closer to the edge. "Please, baby cum for me."
You let go just like he asked, your orgasm hitting you harder than it normally does as you fall over the edge.  Instinctively holding him close to you as you do, him giving a few more thrusts before he falls over it with you. Finishing inside of you with a couple final movements before he stills, neither of you saying a word.
You still have your arms wrapped around him, now pulling his slightly panting form down to you so that you can leave a few more soft kisses on his lips, not wanting the emotions you currently feel to go away.  Scared that if you let him move that things will go back to how they were before, that he will say it was a mistake and he didn't mean to say what he did to you.
He shifts, moving off of you so that he can pull you close to him.  Able to tell that right now you need the reassurance that things are how they are supposed to be between the two of you.
"You're overthinking again," he says softly with a chuckle. "I can tell."
"Sorry, I just didn't expect things to go this well when I said that things have changed.  Now I don't know what to think," you admit softly, nuzzling your face in his neck as you curl up beside him, listening to the rain and thunder in the background.
"Don't think, yes they have changed but in a positive way... what do you say that when this storm lets up tomorrow morning we go out on our first actual date, I think we have a lot to learn about each other considering we skipped that stage," he says softly, leaving teasing ticklish touches along your sides.  He hopes that the tickles will make you smile, a smile forming on his own lips when it works.
"That sounds nice... Can we cuddle and listen to the rain for now though?" You ask softly, happy when he agrees.  You turn so that you can face the window again, so you can watch the rainfall and the lightning again.  This time with a pair of warm arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest.
The rain washes away your doubts about whether this could work or not, washing away your anxieties and insecurities.  It washes away so much... but all for a good reason.