Baby Steps

Ch. 6 Tom POV

Tom
Willa stares at me for a beat before crossing from the living room to the kitchen. She opens the top cabinet above the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of tequila. Then she grabs two shot glasses before walking back to the living room.

She plops down on the couch then gestures for me to take a seat. I sit on the far end of the couch wanting to give her some space. Willa pours two shots of tequila then passes one of them to me.

"We are going to need this." She murmurs before tipping the shot back.

I sit stunned for a moment before quickly doing the same. I cough as my eyes water from the tequila burning down my throat. She's right though, we are going to need it.

Once I place the shot glass back on the table I rest my elbows on my knees as I hang my head. How did we get here? The turmoil in my stomach sits heavy like a stone. I missed out on something magnificent and beautiful. My chest tightens as I think back to the day I left Willa in the hotel suite. God, I wish I could go back to that exact moment and hold her instead of leaving early in the morning.

Running my hands down my face I take a deep breath before facing Willa. Damn, she's even more beautiful than I remembered. I could get lost in her deep green eyes.

"I'm sorry." I say.

I know the apology is about a year too late. But I just need her to know how sorry I am.

Willa brings her knees up to her chest, hugging them.

"What are you sorry for?" She questions.

"For everything."

I stand abruptly and begin to pace in front of the coffee table. "My biggest regret is walking away from you the morning after." I run my hands through hair and down my face. Frustration is pouring out of me. "But more importantly I'm sorry I didn't know about them" I point toward the other side of the house where I assume the rooms are. "I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to find out."

Willa's eyes widen as my words sink in before anger takes over and she stands with her fists clenched.

"Don't lie to me." She seethes. "I told you about them when I found out. I told you their names when they were born." She thrusts her finger in my face, "You knew about them!"

I can tell she's been holding this in for a long time, waiting to yell at me. The anger and pain is vibrating off her body. I gently grab her hand and engulf it in mine. The electric touch is still there between us.

"I didn't know." I whisper. I run my thumb along the inside of her wrist as I continue. "My manager intercepted all the messages and calls." The minute Willa's shoulders sag in defeat I wrap her in my arms.

"I'm so sorry." I sob into her hair.

God it feels so good holding her again. Being with her. If she gives me another chance I will never let her go again. Willa wraps her arms around my waist for a brief moment before pulling away. My heart cracks as she puts more distance between us.

"We should talk." She says while going back to the coffee table to pour another shot for herself. After she downs that she sets the glass on the table then takes a deep breath.

This time when she sits on the couch I sit on the cushion right next to her. I need to be close to her as we discuss our next steps. Obviously, we can't  jump to living together right away. Willa has a life here in LA and a career. I can't and won't take that away from her or the babies.

"Where should we start?" I asked timidly.

I refrain myself from asking to see the twins right away. As much as I wanted to see my babies, god that felt weird but good to say, I needed to see what page Willa is on.

Willa brings her knees up to her chest again and squeezes her arms around them while worrying her bottom lip. The same soft lips I dreamt about since our night together.

Willa sighs as she tips her head back to rest on the back of the couch. "I don't know, Tom." She stares at the ceiling above but after a minute she looks at me with tears pooling in her eyes.

"I've been mad at you for so long. I've been angry at the fact that you knew about them and continued to live your life, gallivanting across the world with every other supermodel on your arm." A sob escapes her lips as she tries to cover it with her hand. I quickly wrap Willa in my arms and rock us back and forth. All this time she thought I did not care, she thought I knew and was able to live my life without her or the babies. It broke my heart knowing how much I hurt her.

I murmured my apologies over and over again as I continued to hold her.

Finally, after a few minutes Willa's sobs eased away but I kept hold of her. It felt comforting to have her back in my arms. After a beat of silence I asked the one question that I've wanted to ask since I walked through the door.

"Can I see them?"

Willa's entire body tensed as soon as the words left my mouth. My heart cracked a little, knowing the answer would most likely be no. But dammit I wanted to see them. They were my babies and I missed out on the first ten months of their lives. However, I wouldn't push Willa if she was not comfortable. I would wait but it would kill me the longer I'd have to wait.

Shrugging out of my hold Willa stood on shaking legs and held a hand out. Taking her hand I stood and let her guide me to the baby's room. My heart hammered in my chest the closer we got.

We stood in front of the door for a moment before Willa turned her head towards me.

"They're sleeping so you can't hold them yet. Atticus has a fever and I just got him to sleep."

"Is he okay?" I asked with panic laced in my voice.

Wilma gave me a soft smile, "He's fine." Then after a second she added, "they're both fine."

She pushed the door open slightly so as to not let the hall light shine in on them.

There in two cribs were my children. Both sleeping soundly. A crescent moon and a star above each of their cribs. With their names written on them.

Talia and Atticus.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I looked over them. Atticus had my nose while Talia had my curls.

I love them already.

Hesitantly, I took a step forward. I reached a hand out but withdrew it not wanting to wake then. Instead I said a silent thank you to the sky for bringing these two into my life. I had a lot to make up but I was not going to miss another second of their life.

After standing in the room watching them for what felt like an eternity but not enough time, Willa and I walked back to the living room.

"Can I meet them tomorrow?" I asked anxiously. I saw them and now I wanted to meet them. I wanted to hold them.

Willa chewed nervously on her bottom lip before nodding.

"Thank you, Willa." I say earnestly. "I know we have a lot to talk about and I hope we can find the time tomorrow. I won't keep you up any later since I'm sure sleep is hard to come by with the twins. But I plan on being here for you three from now on."

I walk towards her and cup her face in my hands and rest my forehead on hers. "I promise."

Willa sucks in a breath, "don't make me any promises you can't keep." She whispers.

I chuckle softly before lifting my head and kissing her on the forehead. "This is a promise I'll never break."

With those last parting words I walk out the door. I told her I wouldn't break that promise and I won't.

We have a long way to go but we'll start with baby steps.