Baby Steps

Ch. 7 Willa POV

Willa

My stomach twists at the sound of the doorbell. It's 8:00 am and Tom is at the door. The twins had woken up two hours ago, thankfully Atticus's fever broke last night. Now, he and Talia are currently rolling around in their baby walkers. But they use them more as bumper cars to bump into each other. They're laughter rings through the halls and it's something I just want to bottle up. The first time the twins laughed I cried for a solid twenty minutes.

With shaking steps I walk to the front door, pausing for a moment to calm my nerves. How many times have I dreamt of this moment? How many times have I thought this moment would never happen? That Tom would just live his life without a care in the world for our children. I have been trying to wrap my head around Tom's revelation last night. He had no idea I was pregnant, he had no idea that I gave birth to our son and daughter. For so long I have cast Tom in a negative light, I've casted him as the villain he portrays himself as on tv but now everything is different.

I need to do this for my kids. And for Tom. He deserves to be a part of their life if he wants to be. With one last deep breath I open the door. Tom's green eyes are still captivating to me. My mind flashes back to the night we slept together.

The way he pinned my arms to the bed as he thrusted inside of me. The way he peppered kisses up and down my cheek and throat.The sounds he made when I tugged the ends of his hair.

My cheeks flush at the memory and I suddenly realize that I haven't said anything yet.

"G-good morning." I stutter as I clear my throat. God, I'm such a mess right now.

I step back and wave him inside. We both pause though as we hear the twins babbling to each other. I sneak a peek at Tom and see his eyes well with tears. It's clear to me now how entirely fucked up this situation is. Tom missed out on ten months of his children's lives because his management team kept him in the dark. This is not something you can come back from. I don't know what will happen after this but what I do know is that his team will never be around my children.

"Come on." I say gently while grabbing his hand.

I can't imagine everything going through his mind right now but I  want to be of some comfort to him. We walk to the living room where the twins are in their walkers but are now playing with the little attachments on it.

Talia is the first to look at Tom. I can see the moment their eyes meet that there is some sort of affection and familiarity in her eyes as she looks at her dad. My smart girl.

Tom takes a tentative step towards her but stops himself. I release my hand from his grasp and gently nudge him forward. This moment needs to be just the two of them.

I watch as Tom walks to Talia and kneels in front of her. Her wide eyes stare at him, assessing him. After a moment Talia is all smiles. My eyes pool with tears as I witness Tom brush his knuckles down Talia's cheek. A soft smile pulls on his face. Atticus pushes forward hitting Talia's Walker and both release a fit of giggles. Tom reaches over to Atticus and runs his knuckles down his face as well. Then Atticus is reaching his hands up. His signal that he wants to be picked up.

I hold my breath as I watch Tom gently remove Atticus from his walker and hold him to his chest. It's a little awkward at first. I can tell Tom is nervous holding Atticus. His frame is locked so tight that Atticus starts to squirm in his hold.

Taking pity on Tom I place my hand on his shoulders.

"Relax, Tom." I say while running my hand down his back. "He may be a baby but he is not made of glass."

Tom's shoulders visibly relax and after a minute he is able to rest Atticus on his hip comfortably. Talia starts to fuss because she obviously feels left out so I bend to pick her up. But as soon as I lift her up she's reaching out for Tom.

"Think you can hold them both?" I ask Tom.

Tom sighs, "I hope so." Then he opens his other arm out for me to place Talia in.

As soon as both Talia and Atticus are settled on each side their hands begin to roam around him. They babble at him with wide eyes and smiles. My heart cinches at this moment. Tom smiles at them as he looks back and forth between them. His eyes glisten with tears when Atticus rests his head on Tom's shoulder.

"It's so surreal." Tom whispers, glancing over to where I stand.

For the first time I don't feel anxious about what the future holds for us. I know at this moment that Tom is all in.

Tom stays for the rest of the morning and even helps put the twins down for their nap. Talia has taken a liking to him instantly. So much so that she doesn't fight him much when he sets her down in her crib. I can already tell that she's going to be a daddy's girl and she is going to have Tom wrapped around her little finger.

Once the twins are asleep we quietly exit the room and head into the living room. I begin picking up the toys the twins were playing with as Tom lingers in the entryway.

"Thank you for this."

I stand and turn towards him with a soft smile. "Of course, Tom."

We continue to stare at one another. So many thoughts are running through my mind and I can tell it's the same for him.

Finally, I break down and sob. I was trying so hard to hold it together during Tom's time with the twins. He's so fucking natural with them its like he was always here. But he wasn't. He missed ten months of their lives and eight months of my pregnancy with them. It's not fair.

"I really wish you were here from the beginning." I say sobbing into my hands.

Tom's next to me in a flash and wrapping me in his arms. He moves us so we are both sitting on the couch. He holds me as I continue to cry.

"I'm so sorry." Tom says while his voice cracks. "You did not deserve to go through this alone."

He gently strokes my back as he continues on, "I regret leaving you the morning after. I regret not reaching out to you myself." He pulls away and tips my chin up so that we are once again staring at each other. He frames my face with both hands and begins wiping my tears away.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

As crazy as it might sound, I believe him.

I just hope nothing stands in our way.