𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄, pedri gonzález

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚, olive

❝ there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen. ❞
⇄ ◃◃   ⅠⅠ   ▹▹ ↻

I walk inside and head to the locker rooms. I don't look like it, but I'm kind of really freaking panicking. I don't know what washed over me but suddenly I just spit out the most embarrassing thought I have.

As a general emotion, it's not embarrassing. Jealousy is normal. But it's the fact that I'm a little jealous of my own best friend and close friend that makes it embarrassing.

That doesn't mean I'm not happy for them. I'm so extremely happy for them. Maybe more than Pedri but I doubt it after what he just admitted to me.

And not only is that fact but there's the fact that I've never really had a real relationship. It's always a one date, one night stand type of romance with me.

And I love that, or at least I think I did. Being around the two of them made me kind of like the attention and closeness they have with each other.

I was never a type of girl that dreamed of having a husband and a white house or any type of hopeless romantic. I wanted to be successful.

I'm now almost twenty-four and I'd say I've achieved this. I am successful. At a very young age too. I never expected to achieve this dream so early. Because now I don't really have a dream I want to achieve.

I wanted to be the best business woman. I may not be the best yet, but give me a year or two and I'm gonna be a freaking billionaire.

Now, I know being a business woman is in my pocket. And not only that, I'm one of the best models. It wasn't my dream as a kid though. It was something I did as a side job because I was basically poor back then until some photograph back at Harvard thought I looked good and so we hooked up. The next day he photographed me — offered me a pretty good amount of money — and put me in his magazine that wasn't really popular.

Somehow, a big agency found me and snatched me. I'd say I fell in love with modeling which caught me so off guard because I never thought that would be my thing but it was.

So, anyway, now I'm just a popular model who owns two businesses and is a little bored.

I've got the job part of my life done. What about the other part of my life? Is it just that? Is that all adulthood is made out to be? Just... work?

I'm spending all my days working. My nights are either work or watching tv or some shit. It used to be going out but ever since we've arrived in Spain, we haven't really gone out.

Me and Isa have both been so busy with the moving and all the changes we haven't actually taken a break, I guess.

Is this how the rest of my life will be? Yes, I'm mostly healthy and accomplished. Yes, I have a great family and amazing friends. But sometimes, it just feels lonely.

And, hear me out, I'm not looking for a husband or a serious relationship. But maybe, a little fling that could light me up inside a bit.

Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen any time soon. Firstly, I'm too busy, I never have the time. Secondly, being honest with myself, I'm an intolerable bitch. I'm pretty mean and annoying. I'm just pretty, that's why guys buy me dinner, then lead me to their hotel room and we never talk again. Thirdly and lastly, let's not forget about my new, infamous, fake boyfriend.