Were You The One All Along?

F O U R T Y T W O : Can We Make It Through This?

*𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖊*

Finneas and Claudia arrived at the hospital and found me in tears. I would never forget him. Jesse was my everything, and he would always have a place in my heart.

I wished I could join him in death, but I knew I couldn’t. Even though he was gone, I had to be strong for Kira and our baby. I wouldn’t abandon them for my own sake.

Finneas took me in his arms and tried to comfort me. Claudia held Kira, who was sound asleep. It was better that way. She didn’t need to see this. I blamed myself for Jesse’s death.

I felt like a failure. I wanted to end my pain and misery, but I knew that wouldn’t solve anything. My heart was shattered beyond repair, and he was the only one who could heal it. But now that he was gone, who would do that for me?

Some memories between me and Jesse crossed my mind. I cried even harder as they kept replaying in my mind.

We were at the beach after our first ever date, watching the sun set. Jesse held me close and kissed my neck. I felt his breath on my skin and his heartbeat in my ear.

He whispered in my ear, “I love you, Billie. You’re the most beautiful, amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re the most wonderful gift I’ve ever received."

I turned to face him and saw his eyes. They were shining with love and happiness. I kissed him gently. “Love ya more. You light up my life baby. The most precious thing ever given to me."

He smiled and pulled me closer. “You really make me so happy, Billie. So alive, complete.

I cuddled into his arms and said, “You make me happy too, Jesse. You make me feel safe. I love you more than words could ever describe."

We kissed again and watched the sun fade into the horizon. We felt the warmth of each other’s touch. The peace of each other’s silence, the joy of each other’s laughter, our love.

All of it made me sob harder, knowing that I can't never wake up next to him. Getting through the day without him. Never would I be able to get his cuddles anymore. And I'd never want them from any other guy. My life starts with Jesse, ends with him.

"Hey Billie, why not you come to our place and stay there for a few months? You know 'till the baby arrives? And if you go back there, you might feel the absence of Jesse." Claudia said softly. I nodded and agreed to stay with them. "Mhm."

I looked at my Jesse one last time. My hands cupped his face and my lips brushed a kiss on his forehead. I pecked his lips and hugged him for the last time. The last time I'd see him.

"I-I'll drive home first. I have to get my bags and some of Kira's things." "We can go there together if you want." I shook my head, "It's alright. I'll go first. You guys t-take Kira home and tuck her in bed." Finneas nodded, "Be safe though." I gave him a small smile.