The pain of never seeing you again | Nanami x Reader

Chapter 1

2009, 19 years old.

Life slid by in inconsequential moments, far from tragedies, such as that one: your graduation.

After four long years, Yaga had signed your diploma in his office, without any sort of ceremony, and now you had all gathered in the dining hall. Shoko and Gojo, who had somehow produced a cake and a speaker, the teachers, the remaining third-year students, and the only two fourth-year students—Nanami and you.

While the rest of the crowd buzzed around the dining hall, eating cake in the dim light and loud music, the two graduates had retreated to a row of chairs pressed against the room's wall. Gojo had placed ridiculous paper hats on your heads, fastened under your chins by an elastic band. Yours crumpled as you leaned your head on Nanami's shoulder.

"We're the life of the party, huh?" you said with a shy smile on your lips. Nanami lowered the arm he had resting on the back of your chair and subtly wrapped it around your shoulders as if it were an accident, as if he didn't mean to.

"At least someone's enjoying it," said Nanami. In front of you, Gojo was dragging Shoko by the hands as they danced, jumping around and knocking into everyone near them.

"Well, I'm okay," you took a sip from your paper cup full of soda and laid your head back on his shoulder.

"Me too," his fingers tightened around your shoulder.

You looked up at your best friend, who had been with you through all the horrors of the past years with unwavering confidence, and you both shared a timid smile.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Your mind screamed what your lips could not say. But at that moment, sitting next to Nanami on your graduation day, when tomorrow seemed nonexistent and you were touching happiness with the tips of your fingers, saying something like that almost didn't seem insane.

His blond hair, his sharp cheekbones, his slit and complicit eyes.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Almost.

"What do you think the world will be like tomorrow?" you asked, looking again at the people dancing in the dining hall. They seemed happy. Seemed.

"I doubt anything will change," he murmured before taking a sip of his drink.

"I hope so."

"Mmm."

"Hey!" you suddenly exclaimed.

You sat at the edge of your seat, and Nanami dropped his arm to his side. You lifted your drink toward him, smiling with shining eyes.

"To new beginnings?" Nanami mirrored your smile and followed suit. "To new beginnings," he repeated, and you clinked your paper cups together and took a sip. "By the way, I have something for you."

He rummaged in his uniform jacket pocket, probably for the last time, and pulled out a long envelope. Despite having been against his body all afternoon, it was perfectly smooth. Not a single wrinkle. He handed it to you.

"What's this?" you giggled as you asked. Your cheeks flushed as Nanami met your eyes. I love you, I love you, I love you.

"A note, for you," he explained, also a bit nervous. "But you have to promise me not to read it until tomorrow."

"What if I want to read it now?"

"I'll take it away, and you'll never see it again," Nanami raised an eyebrow, and you knew he meant it.

"Pssh. As if you could," but you complied. You put the note in your uniform pocket, which you would never wear again, and you would forget it until tomorrow.

You reclined back into your chair, head to shoulder, and Nanami wrapped his arm around you. This time without first passing it over the backrest of the chair. A warmth spread through your chest, which you attributed to the joy of the moment. You had graduated, you'd made it. Both of you were fine, and starting tomorrow, you would continue to work side by side, but this time as professional sorcerers.

"Thank you for all these years," Nanami murmured, his cheek resting against your head. "You're the only thing that made it bearable."

***

The next morning it seemed like nothing had changed, but everything was different. You realized it when, at breakfast time, Nanami didn't show up. Then you remembered his note, and it all became clear.

"I'm leaving.

I've done all I can, but I can't stand another second in this place. I don't want to become a curse to you.

By the time you read this, I'll already be gone. Go on your way, don't try to find me. Be happy.

Thank you,

Nanami Kento."

Soon after, you found out that Nanami's room was empty. His books, his clothes, and all his things were gone. When you called his phone, the operator told you the number didn't exist, and when you asked Yaga, he looked at you with pity and was surprised you didn't already know.

Everyone knew. Everyone, except you.