Heartstrings and Sixx-Strings

Part 7 - Unforgivable

Two days had passed, and I hadn't seen or heard from Nikki. It was show night and I was already ready to crawl in my bed and cry myself to sleep again. My phone rings. It's Doc.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me. I'm actually about ready to be on my way to pick you up. I'll be there a little before six. We'll head over to the venue in my car.

"Okay, no problem, see you soon."

I started getting ready. I looked in the vanity mirror at my face. I had been crying off and on for the past 3 days. My under eyes were swollen and baggy. My hair, a complete wreck. I looked like I had been locked in an isolation cell for a month. I felt miserable. And here I was, attempting to put myself together to see the man that thinks I'm some street whore. Another piece of shit groupie that fucks the band and moves on to the next one that comes to town.

I decided to face the facts and try to get over myself. After all, this was a job and that is all I was there to do. I put my makeup on, but amped it up a little more than usual. No man was going to bring me down to the bottom. I threw on my black lace bralette, red blazer, black ripped jeans, and my tall, black boots. I teased my hair and topped off the look with a cherry red lip. A car horn honked outside my apartment. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

"You look quite put together." says Doc as I buckled my seatbelt.

"Thanks." I replied, looking out the passenger window.

We get to the venue and the gates are open, people taking their seats. I followed Doc into the office. Vince stood in the doorway, speaking to a backstage crew member. He looked at me and his eyes lit up.

"Damn girl! You look smokin 'tonight!" he says, putting his hand out for a high five. "Hey, I heard about you and Nikki hitting it off, he really likes you!"

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah man! He was telling me on Monday all about you. He really thinks you're something special." he says. Vince looks up at Doc. They shared a few words about the show before Vince skipped off. "Hey, we'll see you after the show Kass!" he hollered.

A part of me felt so good to hear that, but I knew Vince hadn't been updated on the incident that happened two days ago. I could only wish that it was all make-believe, and that Nikki was waiting to see me in his room at this very moment. This got me thinking. I was going to march up to his room and give him one more chance to believe me. There was no way I was going to throw all of the last weekend away over a measly misunderstanding. I told Doc I would be right back and I walked out of the office.

I start walking down the hall, nearing Nikkis' room when I see the door open. A blonde, tanned groupie trotted out of the room, smiling.

"Bye, Nikki" she says, flirtatiously.

I make it outside the doorway, immediately peering in the room. He's lacing up his pants. He noticed me but didn't seem to care. I wanted to cry, but I held it in. I needed to prove a point that I was strong.

"Nikki..." I say. "I need to talk to you. Like right now."

Nikki continues getting ready, deliberately looking away from my direction. "There is nothing to say Kassidy. You have shown me what type of girl you are. And now you can see what kind of guy I am. One that doesn't give a flying fuck about women and just wants to fuck them and use them. That's all I do. And that's all you were to me, just another fuck!" Nikki took a large swig of his whiskey and stared into the mirror. "You should have listened to Doc when he told you to stay away. But you didn't because you're just another whore that wanted to fuck me too, right? Oh! And fuck Tommy. Oh, and Vince next?" he yelled, pointing at his chest.

I could tell Nikki was awfully intoxicated. Half the bottle was already empty. My eyes began to pool again. I did all I could to hold back, but the tears trickled down my cheeks. I thought back to the night we met. The night, sitting up at the Hollywood sign. The secrets, the deep ideas and thoughts we shared about our very different worlds. Our spiritual connection. Our first kiss. I knew this wasn't him. This was a reaction. Nikki was broken inside and the only way he knew how to cope with the pain was to drink it away.

"No, Nikki..." I shook my head. "Listen to me, this is all a big misunderstanding-" I continued.

Nikki screamed and slammed the bottle down, splashing whiskey all over the mirror and vanity.

"I would never do anything to hurt you! Goddamnit! You really think I'd fuck around with Tommy after the night we had? He came on to me!" I shouted. "I pushed him away!" I stared at Nikki's reflection in the mirror, his eyes glistening with tears, smudging the stripes on his cheekbones. I knew he was hurting. "God, Nikki, I-" I stutter. "I- I- L-'' Nikki hastily turned around and passed me, bumping my shoulder as he stormed out of the room. I could tell he was mad. "Fuck." I groaned, putting my hand up to my forehead.

I raced down the hall and searched for Tommy's room. I banged my fist on the door.

"Oh Tommy, yeah right there, cum inside me baby! Cum for me baby! I hear through the door.

Tommy releases, letting out a groan. "Just a- second-" he hollers. I opened the door and sure enough, there he was, bagging some groupie before the show.

"Get the fuck out." I scream.

"Who the hell is this bitch?" she exclaims in her valley girl accent, quickly throwing her clothes back on.

I pointed at her. "Don't worry about it and just get out, would ya!" I yell. I look at Tommy. "We need to talk right fucking now." I say. Once the chick walked out, I slammed the door. Tommy pulled his pants back up.

"Oh so now you wanna fuck me?" He says with a tone.

"Absolutely fucking not. You need to fix what you caused between Nikki and me because he doesn't believe a single fucking word I have to say right now. He's drinking himself to blackout and y'all are about to go on that stage in less than 10 minutes." I said, vigorously. " You are his friend. You need to tell him that you came on to me and that I told you to stop twice!"

"Oh...yeah, okay. To be fair, I thought you were just playing hard-to-get. I didn't know you and Nikki were on some level together whatsoever!" he said, nervously.

"Yep, we were on to something, until he walked in on you with your dick pressed up against me. He thinks I'm some whore. But the truth is, I think I'm in love with him. I desperately want to fix this Tommy." I said.

Tommy sighed. "Aw, shit man. It's that kind of serious. Fuck. Look, I'll talk to him. I know how to chill him out so you guys can talk after the show, alright."

"You better mean that, Tommy." I said, pointing at him. "Alright, I gotta get back. Good luck with the show tonight, I guess." I said, slamming his door shut. I walked back to the office.