Hockey Mom

Chapter 9

My world was bleak when I heard the news, that the love of my life, my best friend, was going to die. I told Wayne and Dorothy about their father's situation. They went through all those stages of grief as they call it. Wayne blamed himself for what happened. I tell him no no it's not your fault, but he just looks at me with his glossy eyes and turns away. We visit as often as we can, and each time Doctor Richards says that he's doing well. All I know is that my husband isn't here, holding me, and I see no point in listening to sad attempts in making me believe other wise. With that being said my children and I tried our best to return to our lives. It's hard though when they are both out of the sports that they once loved so much. We have so much time on our hands now that all we do is sit around the table doing nothing.

After a month goes by I visit the hospital with out the children's knowledge and ask bluntly,
"Is my husband going to die?"
Richards was not surprised by this for he had seen this question coming long before I could even think of such a thing.
" Shirley he's not doing any better or any worse, but it seems like he's not going to come out of this one."
I put my hand to my mouth and muster a long shaky sigh.
"What will happen if he wakes up?"
"Not sure we haven't seen much brain activity."
" I thought you said he was doing well?"
"Shirley I told you his brain has been damaged greatly there is activity, but not much."
Moments like this are the moments you say won't happen to you, but when they do you feel like some force in the universe is trying to hurt you and each time you get back up it hits you again.
" If there isn't any activity left will he be dead?"
"He'll be on life support, but his brain will be dead, he won't be there anymore."
A tear leaves my eye and I say,
"If that ever does happen tell me and I'll come down and make a decision."
"Alright Mrs. Stephenson, but don't give up hope just yet."
I nod trying to be hopeful, trying to fake it to become it, but it doesn't work.
I come home that night and sit at the table where the twins are.
" Mom where were you?" Wayne asks.
" I was at the hospital."
They look at each other filled with hope.
"Was it about dad, is he better?"
" No Dorothy in fact there is something I need to discuss with you guys."
They solemnly look at me, and in their eyes I can tell they already know what I'm about to say.
"As you know dad isn't waking up. The doctors are checking his brain to see if there's still activity there, but there's little of it. Once all of that is gone your father will be..." I can't even say the word dead, a word that living doesn't truly understand. All we know is that once it happens your gone...and never coming back.
Dorothy begins to cry and Wayne looks like he wants to punch something. All I can do is get them in a big hug and hold them until they calm down.

Just a few weeks after this the call comes in that Mike is brain dead. I drop the phone and fall to the ground Wayne comes in and picks up the phone and gets Dorothy and me into the car somehow and drives us to the hospital. We all go in and Doctor Richards meets us and talks about medical terminology and what happened all things that I don't care about. As we enter the room several other doctors and nurses are there.
"Now Mrs. Stephenson, we need you to make a decision. There's..."
"Take him off."
Dorothy and Wayne go over to their dead father kiss his cheeks and walk out crying, nurses follow them. I quickly sign some paper work to allow them to take him off life support. I go up to the man I love, take his hand, and whisper why'd you have to go. Why did he, he never has done anything wrong in his life and here he is dead. Leaving behind two children and a wife. I begin to cry and leave the room, after they've done what they needed to do Doctor Richards comes out.
"Don't forget him Shirley, because then he'll never die."
At this I laugh.
"His name will never be forgotten, I'll make sure of it."