Untitled Part 1

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Nobody knew why the two men were caught in the castle at the same time. Nobody knew whose idea it was to allow them to exist in the same spot more than once. Nobody knew, and certainly not me, what the consequences of this mistake would be–if any had known, the dire mistake would have never been made.

Yet Lucius Malfoy and Gilderoy Lockhart stood together in the same room, in a situation not too unfamiliar to many of you.

"So you're telling me that my daughter, my Ginny, was caught with a teenage boy in a dark chamber where he was doing naughty things to her?" The southern twang of Arthur Weasley's voice rumbled across the room where it smacked the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore in the face.

"No, sir. I am not saying such a thing, I am only saying that had young Harry here–"

"Harr-eh. Not Harry-ee."

"Young harreh here not rescued your daughter from the vicious, gripping hands of that monster, she would too be another victim of dire circumstances."

"Vicious? Gripping? What have you been allowin' in this school? I'll have you know I won't be a granddaddy to my youngest daughter at the age of eleven. You have gotten your period right?"

"Yes daddy, I have, but stop! I've lost enough today!" Ginny's voice squeaked from beside her father.

"Lost enough? What is it you've lost little girl? Your virginity?" Arthur's attention was rapidly stolen away to Ginny's less-than-innocent eyes. Harry Potter could only watch in despair, while many around him groaned–except the first two men that we noticed in the room.

See, while Dumbledore, the Weasleys, Harry Potter, and Severus Snape for some reason were discussing the terrible predicament of the Chamber of Secrets, Lucius and Lockhart continued to glare at each other, the gazes burning holes in each other's souls... though both would rather burn the other's hair.

Their HAIR.

For each of these men were blessed with long, lucious, golden, flowing locks that had won many a competition within all aspects of the Wizarding World. Every year, the prize of Most Lucious Locks™ was tossed between the two men. It was a hard battle between two men who had no qualms against murdering the other's magnificent hairs by any means possible. In fact, it had happened many a time before.

You see, Lucius had meant to slip the cursed diary into Lockhart's pocket. However, after the little debacle with Arthur Weasley, his fingers had slipped and they inconveniently fell into the cauldron of young Ginny. Lucius was very sad for this error, for he really wished for Lockhart and his beautiful hair to die, maybe even serving his Lord. But, it was never to be, since a little Ginny decided to get naughty.

"And what was my little Gin's defense professor doing while she was getting at it with a nearly grown man?" Arthur accused, his eyes finding the match between Lucius and Lockhart.

"Why is Malfoy here anyway?" A small-voiced Ron asked aloud. His mother smacked him on the head.

"Well, I was afraid I was going to take my leave, until your naughty little girl decided to drag my attention away." Lockhart sighed, tearing his eyes from Lucius' burning gaze.

"She was asleep–" Ron began to say until his mother smacked him on the head.

"Take your leave? It's your job to protect us!" A young Harry Potter shouted at the man, who only rolled his eyes.

"No, that's what your little rhinoceros is for. My job is to teach you how to defend yourself–against enemies, not... hormones."

"It's your fault my rhinoceros is dead! He died saving us!"

"Us? I didn't know the little Harry was getting on it too–" Arthur's voice grumbled.

"It's harreh!"

"But yes, I am sorry for your loss of your little african pet, but I had a job to do, and now I have a job to go to. I am done teaching you insolent little hair-mockers. I will not take it anymore. Leave me be." And Lockhart began to rise from the room.

"But wait, sir!" A squeaky voice–the voice of Ron–called out. His mother smacked him on the head.

"You can't leave! We need you!" 

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 23, 2023 ⏰

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