Did We Made It?

3.

Louis: *the contact of his lips on my neck gave me chills…but this little moment comes to an end, when I heard that voice in the phone. I quickly get away from Harry* I didn’t hear my my alarm clock, sorry...

Harry: *I narrowed my brows and pouted my lips. Crossing my arms on my chest, I turned away*

Zayn: it's been like 20 minutes. Simon's pretty mad already. You know...

Louis: roh yeah, we will come in 2 minutes...*I replied*

Zayn: okay. And wake Harry too. He has slept through all Niall's calls...

Louis: yeah, yeah...

Zayn: see you downstairs...

Louis: *when I hear him hung up, I hastily put my hand on Harry’s shoulder* sorry Harry…

Harry: why did you pulled away? Didn't you like it?

Louis: no, I was just scared you know, I don’t know…*I take a little breath in* I just feel so confused, I don’t fucking know how to explain...

Harry: *I wrapped my arms around my waist* I...i just...

Louis: *I take one of his hand in mine, and I caress the back of it* you?

Harry: I-I don't think that it was g-great idea of m-me, to have t-this kind of a t-talk...*I sobbed quietly*

Louis: *I tighten the pressure on his hand* you can talk to me Harry, you know that…*I say with a shy smile*

Harry: I know. But I see and I can feel, that you're not ready...*I sobbed again. I was so weak for some reason*

Louis: *he is right, Iam not ready…I am breaking his heart, but I don’t want to…I love him so much* the fact that I’m not ready, doesn’t mean that I feel nothing for you Harry…

Harry: *I gave him a hurt look* i'll just get ready...*I stood up from bed, going over to my suitcase, still in tears*

Louis: *I stay sat on the bed* Harry please listen to me...*his look literally broke my heart. god I hate myself, why am I hurting this boy?!* I am not ready, you know…in public. But maybe with- hum, with the boys or our family…I will be more comfortable…*I try to explain*

Harry: *I turned to him, brushing the tears down from my face. I nodded, still hurt*

Louis: Harry please understand me…I don’t want to hurt you, really…*I beg*

Harry: I understand...*I sighed, trying to force out a smile on my face*

Louis: *I get up* honestly? *I ask. I know him, I know him a lot, there’s something that I said which hurts him, but he doesn’t want to tell me* Is there something that I can do to stop your crying? Please Harry, I don’t want to start this day with negativity between us…*I beg again*

Harry: *I glued my eyes to my feet* you don't need to do anything. You did enough. It's just my anxiety going over me...

Louis: *his anxiety really worries me. he used to have panic attacks, etc…I directly take his hands and I look into his eyes* do you think that you’re having a panic attack? *I ask very worried*

Harry: I don't know...*I breathed out shakily. I was really scared*

Louis: oh euh okay, okay listen to me. Harry look at me...*I force him to look into my eyes, he has to focus on something else than the ground* okay Harry I-I know an exercise, okay…hum tell me five things that you can see right now...

Harry: I see you, t-the boy I-I love, your e-eyes full of w-worry, your tattoos w-which I love, your beautiful h-hair, your- *I stopped. I was straight complimenting him* I can see t-the bed b-behind y-you...*I was saying this all in a shaky voice*

Louis: okay good…*I whisper with a little smile. I put my hand on one of his cheek to stop the tear…I pull him softly on the bed to sit* okay, now tell me four things that you can hear...

Harry: I-I hear the rain, clocks, soun-sounds from the h-hallway and m-my breathing...

Louis: okay…now focus yourself on the sound of rain and tell me three things that you can smell...*I say caressing the back of his hands with my thumbs*

Harry: *I started shaking. Come on Harry. You got this* I...can smell th-the rain, shampoo from my hair...and your s-scent...

Louis: hey, Harry you’re doing great, you’re strong, you can do it...*I affirm with a little pressure on his hands and a little smile on my face* okay now, stay focus on the sound of rain and tell me two things that you can touch right now...

Harry: *I was getting more and more unfocused. Everything was distracting me* y-your palms a-and your w-wrists...

Louis: *he is shaking more and more…*
hey, hey, hey love that’s okay...*I try to reassure him as much as I can but I’m not a professional. I don’t know what to do…* okay, now I’m gonna spoil you. tell me one thing that you can taste...*I don’t give him time to answer and I put my own lips on his. I don’t know what I am doing right now, but I hope that it will calm him down. I try to put positive emotions through my kiss to sooth him*

Harry: *I blink three times and then my breathing got calmer, but i was still shaking. But the kiss...ah...heaven...one happy tear rolled down my cheek* 

Louis: *he seems more appeaser. I grab his face with my hands and intensify the kiss. I want to make him understand that I will be always here through this kiss*

Harry: *I slowly wrapped my arms around his amazing waist, pulling him a little closer*

Louis: *his contact on my body gives me chills, again. I start to play with my hand in his soft curls*

Harry: *I again pulled him closer, so he was sitting on my laps. God...I want this for the rest of my life*

Louis: *I literally feel free at this moment. It is the first time that I have this feeling. He makes me feel so comfortable, physically and mentally. I slowly stop the kiss to let the air in my lungs and remove the lock of hair in front of his eyes. I smile and begin to admire his face by tracing the features of this one with my index finger*

Harry: *I tried to hold the eyecontact with him. It was making me really calm*

Louis: *I break the silence between us first* do you feel better? *I whisper*

Harry: I do...*I nodded* sorry for stressing you out...

Louis: *I smile at him* you don’t have to be sorry for having anxiety, it’s human...

Harry: *I nodded again* you make me feel so safe...*I hugged him tight*

Louis: *I have no answer for that, my brain is suddenly doing a black out. I just plunge my face in his neck and caress his hair*

Harry: *I was breathing in the scent of his. It was mysting up my senses everytime* no one ever made me feel the way you have for these past three or four years...

Oiii oiii! Third chapter is here!
Hope you didn't come close to heartattack like me almost😅😅
Love you!!💚💙
~S&J