In My Arms: A Salex Story

Good Music

An old Modest Mouse CD was playing through the van's stereo as the two sat beside each other. Alex leaned back in the passenger seat and grumbled, "It's so hot in here, can't we turn on the AC for like, a minute?" He looked pitifully at Sam while rolling up his shirt sleeves.

"I told you, we can't waste gas on that, we still have a few more hours to drive today," Sam said as he frowned. He leaned forward, squinting as he tried to peer through the Subway window at John. He was clearly visible, sitting right by the glass. It seemed like he was nowhere close to finishing his sub, though, and it was almost fascinating how slowly he was eating it. He ate at the pace a chameleon may have chomped at a raspberry. Sam laughed, "I think we'll be out here for a while, so you might as well make yourself comfortable."

"Jesus Christ, John and his sandwiches..." Alex laughed as he shook his head. He glanced over at Sam in the seat next to him and felt an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude towards his best friend. "Hey, you know you didn't need to like, protect me in there, right? It really wasn't a big deal at all.. the employee was probably just having a bad day or something.."

Sam looked sympathetically back at him and interjected, "I did have to, you can't just let people push you around like that, Alex."

"I mean, a meatball sub on rye bread is a really weird order! Remember when people in high school would make fun of me for eating rye bread all the time instead of normal bread? I expect people to say shit about it, it really doesn't effect me at all," Alex said earnestly as he fidgeted with his hands.

Sam paused for a second, "I saw how sad you looked after that employee called you a freak, man. You shouldn't have to go through that kind of, I don't know, emotional turmoil just because you like a certain kind of bread." He looked down and tapped his hands on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that was playing. After a moment's silence, he asked, "Hey, you're still hungry, right? I think I've got some snacks stored away in here from our last tour." He rummaged through some grocery bags in the floorboard of the backseat and eventually pulled out a handful of Slim Jims and a half-eaten bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

Alex's face lit up, "Yo! I love these, thanks so much, Sam!" He hastily grabbed the bag and started stuffing them into his mouth. The spiciness of the Cheetos didn't help how overheated he already felt, sitting in a car on a hot summer's day with a man he was deeply enamored with, albeit secretly. "I didn't even know these were in here, I would've eaten them earlier if I had known," he laughed.

"I know it's not as good as Subway, but it's something I guess," Sam said as he smiled. "I just couldn't stay in there after they said that to you, that was seriously uncalled for." Sam couldn't figure out why it was so difficult to shake his anger at the worker for mistreating Alex. He had always been protective of him, but in what he thought was more of a brotherly sense. They were best friends, after all, and despite Alex's outward aloofness and sarcasm, Sam could tell peoples' words got to him. He glanced over at him and softly said, "I care for you, man, you know that right?"

Alex's heart was beating out of his chest as he reached over to grab Sam's hand, interlocking his fingers with his. In a quiet act of tenderness, he leaned over to rest his head on his shoulder, and whispered, "I know."

Sam was too bewildered to speak, did Alex like him? Romantically??? He sat in the van holding his best friend's hand and wondered if this was just another one of the unusual ways Alex expressed affection. He had always been overly touchy towards his friends, but really only when he had too much to drink. But now they were sharing a moment, completely sober, outside a tiny Subway in Nebraska. Though it was a new feeling to him, Sam didn't hate the thought of Alex being a man he could love.

It made sense that Alex would be in love with him, now that he was thinking about it. He was never interested in any girls in the time he had known him, despite writing songs about some. A lot of his love songs aligned strangely to moments they had shared together, which made him wonder if they were really about him. Alex always quickly brushed him off whenever he would ask, though, so he never questioned it much. Sitting here with Alex silently resting on his shoulder made him question everything, though.